A Tale Of Beauty…

 

By Bint Salman

make up itemsAppearances Are Deceptive:

She elegantly walked with her low-cut gown and long bare legs on the red-carpet. The glitter on her visage shone brilliantly as she threw smiles at the audience waving her hand up in the air. The golden crown on her head was her dream that had come true. Amidst the glamour and celebration, she felt her heart slowly sinking in, the vacuum in her getting larger, and happiness culminating in a strong wave of anxiety. Is that all she got after a long wait? she got everything she ever desired then WHY?…why is life so hollow and incomplete?

Tears trickled down her cheeks, she was lost but she couldn’t figure out why!

Days later she committed suicide..

The term beauty is quite flexible; everyone seems to have his own way of defining it. The beauty pageants organized every year may arrive at their tough decision of identifying the most beautiful girl from across the globe and crowning her for her ravishing outward appearance. But this is just a trivial matter of something which is apparent; the looks. What lies beyond those looks? A hidden horrible adulteress, cabinet filled with anti-depressants, tentative cuts around the wrist due to suicidal attempts, a state of constant unrest  and apathy? For sure we don’t know. The fashion and beauty industry are muti million dollar industries, smartly exploiting women.Woman want to be in the rat race by either providing their services as  fashion/beauty icons or by proving as the potential customers of designers from Haute Couture.

The tale of beauty and glamour which is so well-known today is nothing but an epic delusion; it’s so hollow and superficial.Instead of being influenced by it, you should relish walking in your own beauty that shines from your faith and obedience to the Creator.

Am I Really Beautiful?!

You should not consider anyone as a standard of beauty such as a certain celebrity or super-model. Do not compare your looks to those around, in this way you just end up hurting yourself more by feeling more dissatisfied about the shape of your nose, skin complexion, hair color or whatever it is. There is a huge diversity in the creation of Allah; each one of us is different and unique. The comparison only leads to jealousy, envy, frustration and disappointment. You can make the most of your capabilities, talents and excel in something you have passion for instead of wasting time in such comparisons which grieve you.

Whoever told you that you are ugly is either ignorant or heedless of the fact that Al-Kha’aliq: The Creator and Al-Mussawir: The Fashioner has created all of us in the best of form. In His Creation is the epitome of perfection. Allah says:

‘Verily,we Created man in the best form’ (Surah At-Teen – Ayah 4). 

In surah Taghabun Allah says:

“He created the heavens and earth in truth and formed you and perfected your forms; and to Him is the [final] destination.” (Taghābun, 64:3)

Though He confers upon some certain blessings and keeps others from having those to test all. So we find some people indulging in disobedience of Allah through those blessings, thereby failing the test while others who are deprived of those blessings showing impatience and discontent also failing the test. The essential requirement of passing the test is profession of satisfaction and gratitude in heart and declaring: Alhumdulillah!

So, you have now a strong reason to be happy, bold and pleased with the way you naturally look even when you don’t have your make-up or lenses on.

Beauty Lies in the Eyes of Beholder:

Every person has his own way of grading looks, for some a heart-shaped face is more adorable, while others find a slightly long face with sharp features more exotic. In truth the eye is pleased with what the heart approves!

The fear of rejection and denial should not be fostered as it damages ones confidence, self-esteem and self-worth. There is a motivation factor for all those sisters who believe that they aren’t beautiful in the fact that ‘it is strength of conviction, good character, modesty and steadfastness which renders an everlasting and profound beauty. These were the qualities which adorned the most beautiful women who made history. Do we know any precise details of their shapes and curves? It’s only the details of their courage and the way they spent their lives in accordance to their conviction and relationship with Allah that adorned the pages of those books, and that every time we read about them we are taken by awe and get remarkably inspired arriving at a sensible conclusion that these were truly the most beautiful women that ever existed on the face of this planet.

Any woman who emulates these perfect role-models succeeds in becoming the most beloved in the sight of her Creator. After all, what more does a sincere believer desire than to be the best in the sight of the one she/he loves the most?. This thought itself is so empowering and brings multiple benefits:

-As a Muslimah fixes herself for her Creator and makes His pleasure and His love her ultimate goal in life she feels the deep void within her gradually filling up, completing her soul.

-As she finds her true purpose in life , the discovery opens doors of happiness and success in her life.She lives by the goal of spending her life in serviude to Allah, fills her heart with the love of her Master to a point that worldly attachments get minuscule and vague.

-She doesn’t crave for any na-mahram’s attention or compliments on her looks. She keeps herself from flaunting her beauty in front of those who try to take advantage of it by crowning herself with obedience of Allah through Hijaab. Her beauty keeps growing under the protection of this modest covering exactly the way a pearl is furnished with luster inside the covering of an oyster deep down in oceans and seas.

-She focuses more on beautifying her inner which doesn’t age, wrinkle or wither by time but will make her scales go down by it’s weight on the day of judgment.

Narrated by Abu Darda: The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “There is nothing heavier upon the scale of a believer (on the Day of Judgment) than good character.”

Therefore, if you imitate actresses or super-models, you will never be able to achieve happiness and confidence, so discover yourself and  be yourself.

The man who truly fears Allah values a fore mentioned traits in a woman and finds her beautiful irrespective of whether she has an ideal figure, height and complexion or not. So don’t worry he will love you for the way you are ( but that doesn’t mean I don’t encourage women to groom themselves and make an effort to look good for their husband, ofcourse they should within the bounds of sharia)

”O Allah! as you have Created my External Beautiful, Beautify my Character (inner) as well.”

Let’s Face it!

By Bint Salman

wordleWe have a lot of material available in the form of books and articles on Islamic aspects of parenting. As we hear people concluding that the Islamic parenting entails that you work on your kids mainly by providing them Islamic education, however little do we realize what the exact meaning the term : ‘Islamic education’ has. Many parents create a great hype about it, they admit their kid in the most expensive of Islamic institutes or the kid is found enrolled in Tahfeez, Tafsir, Fiqh , Seerah and Aqeedah courses which is a good thing and not my point of objection here. However I simply intend to expose the loopholes in the Islamic education that we aim to provide our children. Unfortunately  we don’t bother to ascertain whether our kid is correctly applying what he is learning, and even worse than this negligence is our own weaknesses that we fail to be those shining role-models for them. When we find our kids wining trophies or getting certificates in Qirah or other Islamic events we boast about their performances, assuming them to be too righteous to ever hold them accountable for their misdeeds.

I got to know about an incident which took place in the recent past. There was a boy who was a Haafiz and was considered to have accomplished much in deen. Despite all that, he would bully little kids and curse a lot behind his parent’s back. One day he got into a fight with a little boy and dashed to catch him. The boy ran speedily falling over his face and ended up having his teeth broken and bleed profusely. When the whole account was narrated to the elder guy’s parents they got too defensive and refused to believe that their son could do any such thing. Unfortunately such attitude from parent’s side makes the kids more courageous and daring causing them to persist in their bad habits till it becomes a second part of their nature.

The essential and integral part of education system is the practical demonstration of theories, facts and examples which reinforces the learning process. Little attention is paid on practical applications of the teachings of Islam. Would not the kids get a much distorted picture of the whole concept when on one hand they are made to learn about the spirit of sacrifice, brotherhood, mutual respect and love while on the other hand they see a totally opposite picture presented to them by their parents and elders? Don’t you think in this way we are transmitting this disease of hypocrisy in them?

Tarbiyah actually means to impart the Ilm in such a way that it motivates the child to act in accordance to what he is taught. Otherwise most of the kids are intelligent and capable enough to get a whole lot of certificates, excellent scores and recognition as young Aalims, but that is not really the purpose!

A few important things parents must practice while embarking upon the journey of Islamic parenting:

– Don’t merely tell your kids to practice Husn-e-Zun, middle path ,compassion and sacrifice when you constantly talk negative about your in-laws, indulge in back-biting, shop lavishly, treat your servants /lower class coldly, are not willing to make sacrifices for others.

-Teach your kids to respect and love their siblings, make sacrifices and uphold compromises. Encourage them to spend the things which they love the most in the way of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’ala). Motivate them to choose/desire for others what they love for themselves.

-Take things to the next level, instead of just emotionally narrating to them the Tafsir and Hadith, train them on how to bring the teachings of Islam to life!

– Constantly remind them of their actual goal in this life, which is to worship Allah, till it gets infused in their conscious and sub-conscious and they learn exactly how to keep away from things which lie in contradiction to that goal.

– Instill in them the love, greatness knowledge and fear of Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala).

– Train them on how to resist and despise the unIslamic trends, culture and evil practices prevalent in our society which are truly disgusting from the inside but nicely wrapped to deceive us, the tricks of shaitan, the modern age delusions such as fashion, movies, sex culture ( in modest/appropriate way).

– Show and teach them courtesy, respect and Islamic moral values and warn them against pride and arrogance.

– Constantly make Du’aa for your kids:

“…Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of those who have Taqwa.” (Furqan: 74)

On the final note: Let’s us try to be the people of actions and not just words. May Allah protect us and our generations to come. Aameen.

Does it Break You or Make You?

never-lose-hopeBy Bint Salman

Listen up! all of you out there. Whatever be the nature of your distress don’t despair the mercy of Allaah, indeed His help is near. Allaah never intends to break you down, He wants to strengthen you, teach you things you would have never learnt if things had continued to run smooth ,refine your faith and do what is BEST for you in His own subtle ways. So rest assured, the matters of your life are in safe hands. Calm down, clear your head off from nasty thoughts , read this and rethink!

Oh Allaah why does it have to be like that?:

The moment Allaah issues His decree on us and we pass through events of catastrophic nature,many of us become hopeless and even faithless.Our spontaneous reaction on being tested or afflicted by a calamity usually is,we start questioning Allah, ”Oh Allah WHY? why did it happen to me? of all why only me?. This is usually phase one,followed by more phases. Let’s go through these phases and learn a few things, insha’Allaah.

In the initial phase, right at the onset of distress, Shaitaan comes with all the bad stuff and ideas,constantly whispering them to us and mainly through Shubhaat that is doubts continues to lead us in despair . Since we are in a weak position so like a perfect enemy Shaitaan makes his move and throws his arrows and spears . Therefore it’s here where we need real strength and Emaan to retaliate.

Allah says in Surah Baqarah – Ayah 155 and 156 that He tests His servants with fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits and in the next verse He mentions the quality of His believing slaves by giving them the title ‘As sabireen’  (the patient). These are the ones who in their phase one, right after being afflicted say; “Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.”. Just ponder over the Emaan of these people,despite being distressed they immediately realize that Allah has given them everything and He has the power to take those bounties whenever He wishes.Therefore they show their contentment with Allah’s decree. This is ar rida anillah azzawajal it means to be pleased with Allah, to believe strongly that His wisdom is infinite and He does what is best for us and we’re not to question Him as He says in Surah Ambiyaah – Ayah 23: ”He cannot be questioned as to what He does, while they will be questioned”

Prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said: “The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allaah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2396; Ibn Maajah, 4031; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

Therefore whenever any unpleasant thing happens to us we must patiently endure and utter innalillahi wa innailaihi rajioon and console ourselves by relying on Allah’s wisdom and the good that results from it.We should also make Du’aa to Allah to reward us in our patience and compensate the loss with something better; ”Allahuma jurni fee museebati wakhlufli khairam minha”. O Allah compensate me for my loss and give me what is better than it.

Under such situations there are people who suffer a marked decrease in their Emaan levels, they get so caught up in their grief that they miss their Salah,they turn lazy towards Deen and remembrance of Allaah. While Allaah says in Ayah 45  in Surah Baqarah: ”seek help in patience and prayer”. That is why our prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) would pray because it provides comfort and helps during mishaps and adversities. Salah establishes  a direct link with Allaah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’alaa) , it’s when u can talk to him, you can weep to Him as He’s always there for His slaves.

Hudhayfah   (may Allaah be pleased with him) said “Whenever the matter became serious the Prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) would pray. (Collected by Abu Dawud (1319) and others. Graded as being Hasan by Shaykh Al-Albani).

Exercise self-control by avoiding violence and self-induced hysteria:

Patience also entails that one remain as calm as possible on being struck by  misfortune and doesn’t inflict harm upon himself or others or the surrounding objects,which is the patience by body. Some people when misfortune hits them start shouting and tearing their clothes and get hysterical but later over a period of time they calm down. This is not patience in any way.

Once prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) was passing by a grave when he saw a woman who was doing what she should not be doing on death of her husband. So He (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) told her ittaqillah wasbiri; ‘be conscious of Allah and be patient’. To this she said ;”turn away from my face for you haven’t been afflicted with a calamity that I have been,so he just walked away. Later when she came to know that it was the prophet of Allah (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) ,she went to his house and told him that she didn’t know it was him. The prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) told her “Verily! patience is at first stroke of calamity.”

For how long will things be like that?

In yet another phase,when the period of affliction prolongs to months or years,we give up hope and stop our supplications all together. This is usually when Allaah’s help is just around the corner.

Let us strengthen our Emaan by taking guidance from the beautiful story of Yusuf (‘Alaihi Salaam) .It was revealed in Aamul-Huzn (the year of sadness) for the emotional and moral support of the prophet Mohammad( sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam).So one can ponder over the verses of Surah Yusuf to get motivation and immense comfort, insha’ Allah. Yusuf (‘Alaihi Salaam) was a victim of maltreatment and abuse but it was His patience, perseverance and faith in Allah that led him from the darkness of well and gloom of the prison to a lofty status in Egypt. It was not merely a month but more than seven years of patience and endurance that yielded sweet rewards  and the  same brothers who plotted against him, went down into prostration before him, as a token of respect. Take lessons from Zakariyah (‘Alaihi Salaam) who turned old and his wife became barren yet he invoked hopefully by saying “… and never have I been in my supplication to You, my Lord, unhappy [i.e., disappointed].” [Surah Maryam – Ayah 3]

In the hereafter the patient ones will be taken to paradise without any reckoning while others will be terrified about their hisaab as Allah says in Surah Zumar – Ayah 10:

Say: “…Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning.”

The term used here is Beghairi Hisaab, some  interpreters say Bighairi Hisaab means: the amount of deeds you’ve done in this life wouldn’t deserve the status that you will be in paradise .

In Surah Baqarah – Ayah 157 Allaah assures the Saabireen of His blessings,forgiveness,mercy and guidance.

Those who are patient are rewarded with ‘Maiyatullaah that is ‘the company of Allaah’ and ‘HubbAllaah-love of Allaah’ as Allaah says in Surah Baqarah and Surah Aal ‘Imraan:

”innallaaha ma’as saabireen – indeed Allaah is with those who’re patient.” (2:156)

” innallaaha yuhibbus saabireen – ‘verily Allaah loves those who’re patient.” (3:146)

Stop nagging people and complain to Allaah alone:

Many a times we keep complaining about our misfortunes to the people,rather in more accurate terms to the Created beings who would show indifference, no signs of mercy ,when we should be  approaching our Creator who has an infinite amount of Mercy for us. Therefore,when it comes to patience it applies to tongue also.One can be patient by his tongue by not complaining to other than Allaah and this is the meaning of Subrun Jameel, the beautiful patience. The prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said when he was asked; “its patience by which you don’t complain” and of course the meaning here is we should complain to only Allah and not His Created beings as we see Yaqoob as in Surah Yusuf – Ayah 86. said: “I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allaah”.

Just hold on to hope in Allaah and don’t despair:

If you’re being tested,so were the prophets,the righteous people of the past but they clung to their faith more strongly.Allaah says:

” Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested. . And We indeed tested those who were before them. “ (Surah Ankaboot – Ayah 2 and 3)”

No matter how your distress aggravates,just carry on,for it’s only disbelievers who lose hope in Allah’s Mercy.

”Certainly no one despairs of Allaah’s mercy, except the people who disbelieve.’‘ (Surah Yusuf – Ayah 87)

For how many years did Ibrahim (‘Alaihi Salaam)  hold his hope in Allaah when he prayed for a son ? Zakariya (‘Alaihi Salaam). too had to wait for a long time but they did not give up hopes in Allaah. So ask yourselves this question: ‘should I give up so easily?’

 

Supplications For Depression

Cloud-Option-2

Supplications for Depression

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah

In al-Saheehayn it was reported from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say, when he felt distressed:

“La ilaaha ill-Allaah al-‘Azeem ul-Haleem, Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah Rabb il-‘arsh il-‘azeem, Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah Rabb is-samawaati wa Rabb il-ard wa Rabb il-‘arsh il-kareem.” 

 Translation: “There is no god except Allaah, the All-Mighty, the Forbearing; there is no god except Allaah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne; there is no god except Allaah, Lord of the heavens, Lord of the earth and Lord of the noble Throne).”

And it was reported from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say, when something upset him:

“Yaa Hayyu yaa Qayyoom, bi Rahmatika astagheeth.” 

Translation: “O Ever-Living One, O Everlasting One, by Your mercy I seek help.”

And it was reported that Asmaa’ bint ‘Umays (may Allaah be pleased with her) said:  The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me: “Shall I not teach you some words to say when you feel distressed?”

“Allaah, Allaah, Rabbee laa ushriku bihi shay’an.” 

Translation: “Allaah, Allaah, my Lord, I do not associate anything with Him.”

It was reported from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“No person suffers any anxiety or grief, and says: “‘Allaahumma innee ‘abduka wa ibn ‘abdika wa ibn amatika, naasiyati bi yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka, as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘andak an taj’ala al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi.” 

 Translation: O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every Name belonging to You which You named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety.”

“…but Allaah will take away his sorrow and grief, and give him in their stead joy.”

[Al-Kalim al-Tayyib by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, edited by Shaykh al-Albaani, p. 72]

IslamQA.com

 

Out of Love!

By Umm ‘Aisha

I see them screaming at their old parents out of their love for them! I see them scolding their children out of their love for them! I see them blaming and pointing their sarcasm at their spouses out of their love for them! I see them arguing with everyone out of their love for Deen! I see their brutality for their students out of their love for knowledge! I see them fighting and punching their siblings faces out of their love for them! And I see them dissociating from their friends out of their love for them! I see broken families that were built only in the name of love, and I see psychologically disturbed children who are the ‘victim’ of their parents’ love!

And all this forces me to think “If they really LOVE them? Is this what love is all about? Is love only the matter of one’s heart and not one’s attitude? Is love only providing the basic necessities of life to your beloved? Is love so cruel? Is love something that abuses relations? Or is it just that THEY ARE ABUSING LOVE?

I would have started doubting myself whether I should claim this grievous sin of loving someone and then proving it through my actions if I had not known The Most Loving! The One who loves all that we see around us, the One who calls all His creations “His family”. Though nothing could be as Mighty as Him and nothing could be as Supreme as Him. Though He does not need to be loved, though He is not dependent on any one of His creatures, though He is not in need of their time, money, presence, children, wealth or anything!

But He still loves them and expects that they respect and love each other.

He- The Most Loving doesn’t even ignore those who disobey His merciful commandments, neither those who declare themselves as His enemy. He-Ar-Rahman- blesses them with all the luxuries of this world.

And here we-those who are selected by ALLAH as HIS Deen’s messengers, the messengers of His love for people the carriers of “There is no God but ALLAH” have a different definition and practical implementation of Love!

The feeling created by God, for God, to God!

When I talk about love as a gift from the Loving, I imagine it something that is totally different of what world has described it through its actions. It is something that is filled with ‘your’ respect, ‘your’ honor, sacrifice for ‘you’, peace between ‘us’, happiness among ‘everyone’, harmony in ‘people’, tolerance for ‘you’. Something that is free from selfishness and the concept of ‘my’ rights, ‘my’ position, ‘my’ value, ‘my’ worth. Something that doesn’t loose its value even when surrounded by the worst feelings of lust, jealousy, hatred and fear. Something that stays pure even if the world around is filthy. Something that unites people, and something that consoles broken hearts. And eventually it has to be something that makes this world a better place to live!

So when I tell you that “I LOVE YOU”, it means I- a slave of Most Beneficent- am ready to sacrifice for you, I- a slave of As-Salam- wish for peace in your life, I- a slave of Al-Wadood- am ready to give you unconditional love, I- a slave of As- Samii’- am there to listen you, I- a slave of AL-Hadi- want to guide your ways whenever you are lost and most of all I– a slave of Al-Moez, respect you for what you are.

This definition of Love can only be possible if the rules of Divine are truly loved, followed and implemented in ‘My’ life! 🙂

I Am Sensitive!

By Umm ‘Aisha

I am sensitive! This is what I thought of myself before learning Quran. Whenever someone hurt me, smirked at me, whenever they ignored me, my love, my sacrifices, whenever they mocked, ridiculed and flattered me! I was sensitive enough to waste my days and nights thinking, crying and cursing myself, blaming others that they don’t value my intense feelings for them!

I thought it was the soft heart from ALLAH, which makes me this touchy. Though it hindered my functionality but it also drew me closer to Al-Wadud! And after a long painful journey He made me read His words, and learn the realities of life through His love. And I learnt the ultimate reality behind relations, that it was never “You, They and Them” that hurt me; it was “Me, I and Myself” that hurt me! It was not their attitude that broke my heart; it was my weakness that it broke! It was not their fault that they cheated me; it was my fault that I trusted them more than trusting ALLAH! It was not their harshness that caused me insomnia, but my inability to take them as humans, who are nothing but to err!

And I still believe that “I am Sensitive”.

I am sensitive for the feelings of my people! I am sensitive for the pains they bear! I am sensitive to what wrong people are doing with their lives! I am sensitive if people are committing sins and ending into Hell fire forever or if they are earning the pleasure of their Lord! I am sensitive if my words and actions hurt them or make them smile!

And I don’t experience any insomnias, depressions and broken hearts now! I only enjoy my tears that may wipe away my misdeeds and help me become a better human, a better Muslim and a real help for all other sensitive people out there!

Combat Depression!

By Bint Salman

 

tratmtneHave you gone through a traumatic phase in life which was followed by: lingering grief ,  changed appetite, sleep disturbances, lackof concentration and focus, irritability, restlessness, lethargy, low esteem, lack of self-worth? If so, then these are all the symptoms of depression. But look at the bright side: ‘Depression is treatable with a good  success rate’

Find a way to normalcy:

Symptoms of depression can be alleviated through guidance from the Quran and Sunnah. Below are a few tips:

– Bowing to the will of Allah, with belief in Qadar:

Belief in predestination is one of the articles of faith. You should firmly believe that all good and bad comes from Allaah and once your conviction is strong you’ll learn to negotiate your circumstances no matter how hopeless you feel about your situation. This belief will assure you that your Lord has done what is best for you and this attitude helps you to be content and happy with Allah’s will. Allah’s plans are perfect, not an affliction befalls a believer but His sins are wiped out if he patiently endures. Allaah says;

‘Whatever misfortune happens to you is because of the things your hands have wrought and for many (of them) He grants forgiveness.’ (42:30)

No affliction great or small afflicts a man but for a sin, but there are more which Allah forgives’. (Tirmidhi)

Dhikrullaah- A potent Anti-Depressant:

Make Allaah’s dhikr by following ways:

–By reciting Qura’an and contemplating over its verses;

Remembering Allaah by reciting Quraan while reflecting over its meanings grants peace and tranquility to the heart as Allah says: ”Verily in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts finds rest”: (13:28)

Not only it gives us certain guidelines on how to be steadfast on the face of calamities also It becomes a source of motivation for us and strengthens our imaan and hope in Allaah’s mercy , especially when we come across  certain stories like the story of Yusuf and Ayub (‘Alayhimussalaam).

Yusuf’s (‘Alaihysalaam) only son was separated from him ,but he didn’t despair the mercy of Allah and left a wonderful & most powerful advice for us. The Quran highlights it as:

”Certainly no one despairs of Allah’s Mercy, except the people who disbelieve.” (12:87).

Ayub (‘Alaihysalaam)) who was left without children and wealth when his health declined miserably and his body got diseased all over remained patient and didn’t utter a word of thanklessness to his Lord but sweetly invoked:

‘’Verily, distress has seized me, and You are the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy.” (21:83)

At places the Quran gives us incentives by reminding us of the sweet out come of enduring with patience . Allaah says;

“But give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Those who say, when afflicted with calamity, ‘To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return.’ They are those on whom descend blessings from their Lord, and mercy. They are the ones who receive guidance.” (2:155-157)

–Invocations for morning and evening:

Constantly invoke Allaah, in the morning and in the evening. Among the invocations for morning and evening there are duas for sorrow and anxiety. One of them is;

Allaahuma ini aodubika minah hame wal huzne wal ajzi wal kaslee wad dala id daine wa qahririjaal.

O Allah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being over powered by men. Ameen

Especial invocation for grief:

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a person who is afflicted by anxiety or sorrow says: ‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka wa ibnu ‘abdika wa ibn ammatika naasiyati bi yadika maadin fiyya hukmuka ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw asta’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘indaka an taj’al al-Quraana rabee’a qalbi wa noora sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You with which You have named Yourself, or, or You have taught to any of Your creation, or You have revealed in Your Book, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety)’, then Allaah will take away his anxiety and sorrow, and will replace it with joy.

-Abandoning Disobedience:

Remember the way to sakinah is through obeying Allaah Subhanahu watalaa .When a person does not follow the commands of Allah, his chest becomes constrained, he gets encircled by a discomfort zone .Outwardly he might seem to be enjoying the material blessings of this worldly life but inwardly he loses peace, tranquility and happiness.

Allah Subahnau wa talaa says :

”And whoever turns away from My remembrance – indeed, he will have a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind.”( 20:124)

Sinning causes a soul to wander in agitation. It may be a consequence of our sins that we feel bad and irritable. Despite that, Allaah is so Merciful ,He has shown us the way to drop the burden of sins by means of repentance. It’s one of the tricks of shaitaan that he makes us feel that our sin due to its magnitude is unpardonable. We are humans bound to sin but if one sincerely repents, Allaah forgives all His major and minor sins. The repentance should be sincere, pure repentance ‘Taubatun nasooh”,that  one should make a sincere repentance, he should feel guilty of his wrongdoing and he should resolve never to repeat that sin. After a person repents and performs more good deeds the constricting force  starts releasing on him and  he is granted thorough peace and satisfaction.

-Shukr Brings Contentment:

When you learn to value those blessings of Allah , you will develop the attitude of a grateful person. Prophet (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam)  said:

The Prophet, salla Allahu ‘alayhi wassalam, said: ‘Wealth is not in having vast riches, it is in contentment.’ (Bukhari, Muslim)

Even if you don’t have anything but a pair of eyes, ears, limbs you should be grateful to Allaah .You only realize the value of something when you lose it, look at those who’re blind, deaf and cripple and thank Allah. Indeed thanking Allah is a blessing itself , Dawood AS used to invoke Allah:

O Allah! how can I thank you enough when thanking you is also a blessing’

Jot down a list of all the things you are blessed with and ponder over the fact that what would happen if you lose them all.

Developing good Interpersonal skills:

Learning good skills in dealing with people takes a person on the road to happiness and triumph. There is no person on Earth who doesn’t like to be respected, adored and held in high esteem. The best way to develop good interpersonal skills is by studying the seerah of our beloved prophet pbuh and emulating it. Learn and incorporate those effective ways in your life which our he pbuh adopted to tackle with people possessing different personalities and natures. Learn the manners he taught and make them your second nature. Show people your care, concern and love and believe me you will be dumbfounded at what you receive in return. Engage in community service, lend your help to the ones in plight, this will help you move past your own plight and depression.

-Have a bowl of Talbinah daily:

Talbinah is actually barley soup which is one of the prophetic medicines. Ayesha (Radhi Allaahu ‘Anha) would recommend the grieving and sick women to have it.

Ayesha would say (to the women), “Eat, for I heard the Messenger (peace be upon him) saying, ‘The Talbina soothes the heart of the patient and relieves him from some of his sadness.’” (Al-Bukhari, no. 5690)

In another Hadith the Prophet (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) said:

The Messenger (peace be upon him) said, “I encourage you to use (Talbina) which is disliked, but is beneficial. By the One in whose Hand Muhammad’s soul is, it cleans your stomach just as water cleans dirt from the face.” (Mustadrak of Hakim, no. 7455, Adh-Dhahabi declared it Sahih)

Recipe for Talbina:

Talbina is made by adding one or two tablespoon of barley flour in one and a half cups of water and mixed homogeneously till it dissolves in water. It is then kept over the flame  and constantly stirred till it thickens. Have it by adding a little honey and milk.

A few other tips:

-Exercise daily for 20-30 mins: this helps relieve stress to some extent and provides relaxation to the body. During exercise the chemicals ‘endorphins’ are released which elevate the mood. Exercise leaves positive impact on sleep and behavior..

-Fast:  Alright, you do it for the sake of Allah but it not only gives you reward but some other extra benefits: fasting also triggers release ‘endorphins’ which give a feeling of ‘well- being’.

-Take foods that beat stress: Google out a list of foods which fight stress and include them in your diet list.

HIJAAB: A Door to REAL Liberation and Intellect.

By Bint Salman

Certain essential  requirements before going out (According to many females)

1) A nice low cut outfit, or at least a tight fitting one.

2) Lip gloss, eyeliner, mascara, illuminator cosmetics.

3) Hair styling

…4,5,6,7,8…….you name it !

Is it mandatory to have these before going out or have you imposed them as a necessity on yourself just to gain acceptance from society?

Well!  don’t you think life is something more than just dabbing glosses so that you could display your beauty in public, rather in more accurate terms your na-mahram which include the offenders who sit  eagerly in  wait to catch their prey whenever they get a chance to or those lustful eyes which scrutinize with lust each and every part of your body.

Can’t you separate the truth from falsehood? Have you tried to lift the veil of ignorance  from your eyes and see the truth behind all the mess these liberalists  have put you in?.

Under the slogan of liberation , these so called ‘advocates of freedom’ advertise enough to inspire the female masses in becoming a slave to their modernistic rather misleading ideologies  Resultantly every girl wants to blindly do everything that’s ‘ in vogue’ irrespective of whether her religion permits her or not.

It’s not prohibited to dress up nicely , wear make up or perfume but under the bounds of shariah, only in front of mahrams, but unfortunately many Muslim sisters don’t understand now a days.

Liberation or pseudo-liberation?

Those women who dress up immodestly in public, with their dresses revealing all the minute details of their bodies are considered modern, in this progressing world while those who wear the veil, who guard their modesty are looked as ‘extremists’, bunch of backward folks . Keeping aside all the materialistic standards of  liberation,lets open our minds to think.

Is it freedom that a girl is programmed into fulfilling all these self-imposed requirements before going out? Is it liberty as these seculars claim? Is it not disagreeable that a girl has to appear before men beautified, virtually  naked or in see through and skimpy outfits? each time before leaving for work she has to wear a knee length skirt and put on makeup even if it’s -7 degrees or she’s allergic to cosmetics.She has been put to oppression in such a fashion where she lives in deception of being under liberation. It’s the worst form of slavery when she voluntarily presents herself to be taken advantage of, to be played brutally at the hands of men as an object worst than animals.

On the contrary Islam liberates women,elevates their status, encourages them to guard their modesty by covering themselves before appearing in public. A Muslimah thinks open-mindedly and chooses to obey  her Creator, therefore Hijaab becomes a symbol of her conviction.It’s not me or any Muslim clergyman commanding Muslim sisters to wear hijaab but Allaah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala) commands the believing women in Surah Noor verse 31 and Ahzab verse 59:

” And tell the believing women to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornment except that which is apparent, and to draw their veils all over their Juyub and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their women, or their right hand possessions, or the Tabi`in among men who do not have desire, or children who are not aware of the nakedness of women. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful.” (Noor:31)

In surah Ahzaab Allaah says:

” O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their Jalabib (outer garment larger than headscarf) over their bodies. That will be better that they should be known so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”

Whom does this divine law benefit?

It’s usually an unbelievable situation when one knows a certain thing is of benefit to him/her yet doesn’t allow himself/herself to be benefited by it. Whom does wearing hijaab benefit? Does it benefit Allaah in any way? Certainly not!. It benefits none other then the one who wears  it.

Firstly it distinguishes the believing women from disbelieving counterparts and dignifies them which is really charming in and off itself. It gives them deep sense of self-respect and confidence in faith.

Secondly Hijaab protects the women from molesters,rapists, sexual offenders ,exactly the way a precious thing is hidden and protected from all hazards.The way pearls lie deep down in the ocean hidden in their oysters, and the diamonds in mines, likewise a  Muslimah is made precious like by enjoining this law upon her so that her dignity remains intact.

Define your real goal in life my dear sister in Islam:

 My dear  Muslim sisters,if you  claim to be  Muslim women then why do you find it hard to submit,when being a Muslim means one has submitted to the will of his/her Creator. Has not your Creator  commanded you to cover yourself up completely from head to toe, if not face and hands then at lest the rest of yourself in front all the namahram males? Is this command so difficult to obey?.

Do you know your real ambition in life should be to worship the Creator and not His Creations.This is the very purpose of your Creation as Allaah says in Surah Zarayaat:

”And I created not the Jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me” (51:56)

So don’t ignore the call of your inner nature (fitrah) which wants you to worship Allaah, to obey Him in all spheres of life.Don’t allow the deceivers to delude you into indulging in indecency and making it your only aim in life .You must abandon all the other trivial goals which lie in contradiction with the real goal of worshiping Allaah or all those distractions which take you away from chasing it.If you focus only and only on achieving it, then it will lead you to a life of happiness,bliss and tranquility.

Dear sister, don’t delay for death can overtake you anytime, would you like to die in disobedience?.Don’t be hesitant, don’t let shaitaan deceive you, for he is your open enemy and it pleases him when bashfulness leaves you because it is a branch of faith and according to an authentic hadith  Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Indeed haya (modesty) and Iman are Companions. When one of them is lifted, the other leaves as well.” (Baihaqi)

Don’t lose your emaan by your own hands.Don’t fear people and this society where immorals are taught more cleverly than morals and remember Allaah’s promise:

”And whoever follows My guidance,there shall be no fear on them,nor shall they grieve(2:38)