By Bint Salman
You were in a long-term relationship with this person, you had always fantasized him/her as your life partner but things went the other way around estranging you two for a life time.It left a broken, miserable you. You kept crying and weeping end on but nothing improved for you and you felt trapped in your situation.
A great deal of time has passed by yet you still aren’t able to wipe out his/her memories, you simply need to ask yourself WHY?
Is it because:
– you stalk his/her facebook/ twitter profile daily?
-You try to find innocent reasons to communicate with him/her?
-You visit the same place where you know you could bump into him/her?
-You are curious to know about his/her whereabouts and inquire about him from his/her close ones?
-You deliberately dwell on the old pleasant memories? That’s a bad idea, try to get rid of the thoughts by getting yourself engaged in some interesting work.
– You want so badly to be with him/her that you show your displeasure with fate.Remember just because you are missing someone or want to be with someone doesn’t mean you can live together.
-You aren’t grateful to Allah for taking you out of the haraam relationship and being your Savior.
-You haven’t yet filled your heart completely with love of Allah that it’s weak and still possesses a large area , occupied by your past love.
So avoid all of these things, MOVE ON, and STRIVE to make Allah your only True Love…
Ibn Taymiyah (Rahimahullaah) said:
If the heart loves Allaah alone and is sincerely devoted to Him, it will not even think of loving anyone else in the first place, let alone falling in love. When a heart falls in love, that is due to the lack of love for Allaah alone. Hence because Yoosuf loved Allaah and was sincerely devoted to Him, he did not fall into the trap of love, rather Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and illegal sexual intercourse. Surely, he was one of Our chosen, (guided) slaves.” [Yoosuf 12:24]
-Set aims for yourself and busy yourself in pursuing those so you don’t get time to entertain the old memories of the time you spent together.
-Look up for a prospective spouse and fix your marriage if you are capable of doing so because marriage brings blessings from Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’ala).
Getting over a loss is not difficult for humans because over a period of time we forget things and we simply stop caring about the past. However one definitely needs to exert constant effort against the factors which stop him from letting go of those memories and work towards a better, healthier future free from taints of the past.