By Khalida Jalili
It is okay to talk about suicide. Yes, I said it. Talking about suicide or individuals who killed themselves is taboo in many societies. Ironically, based on the book Building Bridges by the U.S.A. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration (SAMHSA), open dialogues and education on suicide prevention can save lives.
According to the article Attempters’ Long-term Survival, 70% suicide attempters who were accompanied by medical care did not later die from suicide. However, the article further mentions that a previous suicide attempt is still a very strong risk factor for a future suicide; so addressing this issue is extremely important.
Handling Tough Times
You may find yourself at a point in your life where you feel as if you cannot go on anymore, as if the only solution to all the problems you’re drowning in is your disappearance.
No matter how lonely, depressed, anxious, agitated, misunderstood, and enraged you feel, there are many ways to surmount your problems. Suicide is not one of them. In fact, it’ll make your situation worse, not better.
You must first believe that you can and will go on with life. Allah knows you can definitely handle whatever is going on in your life right now:
“Allah does not bear a soul more than it can bear” (Al-Baqarah; 2: 286)
Always Having Hope No Matter What
Two very powerful ahaadith to always keep in mind when feeling suicidal are:
“Let none of you die unless he has good expectations from Allah.” (Sahih Muslim)
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “None of you should wish for death because of a calamity befalling him; but if he has to wish for death, he should say: ‘O Allah! Keep me alive as long as life is better for me, and let me die if death is better for me’.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
There is always hope. Have good expectations that Allah will make your situation better and facilitate the means to give you whatever is good for you. Allah is to His slaves as they assume Him to be. If we believe He will give us the best in both worlds, then He will because He is capable of doing that.
Asking For What You Want
Turn your despairing moments into earnest du’aas in which you ask Allah to alleviate your difficulties. Ask Him whatever you want, and He will give it to you – as long as it is good for you (as what we think is good for us may not always be good for us!). Allah is Al-Kareem, The Extremely Generous, so He will definitely bless you with the best and more – if you ask.
“And When My servants ask you concerning Me – Indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me (by obedience) and believe in Me that they may be rightly guided.” (Al-Baqarah; 2: 186)
Seeking Wisdom In The Darkness
Many times, our hearts ache when we don’t understand why certain occurrences ensued against our wishes. We may feel frustrated about the present and hopeless about the future. In order to rectify this, ask Allah to show you the wisdom and ease within your difficulties. Ask Him to improve your situation.
Without understanding the cause, it’s not easy to eliminate the effect (i.e. suicidal thoughts). Ask yourself, “How often do I have suicidal thoughts and why? What triggers my thoughts? What can I do to protect myself?”
To better answer these questions, continue on to the second part of this article.