Fitrah- A Gift From God

By Ferdousy Akhter Tani

fitrah

Do you ever get that guilty feeling after you do something wrong, like you become shy to look up and think of God? Or do you ever in spite of yourself, completely involuntarily, seek Him? That’s fitrah!

Fitrah is the natural inclination to believe in one God. It is said that if a child were left alone to himself, he would grow up believing in one God. (Philips, 2005)

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that he used to say the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “There is no child who is not born in a state of Fitrah, then his parents make him a Jew or a Christian or a Magian, just as animals bring forth animals with their limbs intact, do you see any deformed one among them?” Then Abu Hurairah said: “Recite, if you wish: Allah’s Fitrah with which He has created mankind. No change let there be in Khalqillah.” (Sahih Muslim, Vol. 7, Book of Qadr, Ch. 6, Hadith 6755)

This natural disposition to believe in one God has been imprinted into all human beings because of the covenant Allah took from all of mankind.

 

Allah says in the Qur’an:

And [mention] when your Lord took from the children of Adam – from their loins – their descendants and made them testify of themselves, [saying to them], “Am I not your Lord?” They said, “Yes, we have testified.” [This] – lest you should say on the day of Resurrection, “Indeed, we were of this unaware.”

Or [lest] you say, “It was only that our fathers associated [others in worship] with Allah before, and we were but descendants after them. Then would You destroy us for what the falsifiers have done?” [7:172-173]

 

So all children are upon the fitrah, and it is in many cases their parents who raise them opposing it and make them follow their own customs instead, by providing them a non- ‘fitrah-friendly’ environment to grow up in.

Neuroscience research supports the idea that the brain is primed to ‘believe’, says Jordan Grafman, PhD, director of the cognitive neuroscience section at the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. (Azar, 2010)

Professor Andrew Clark, from the Paris School of Economics, and co-author Dr Orsolya Lelkes, from the European Centre for Social Welfare Policy and Research are of the view that religion in general, might act as a “buffer” that protects people from life’s disappointments. Professor Leslie Francis, from the University of Warwick believes that the benefit might involve the increased “purpose of life” experienced by many believers that may not be as strongly felt among non-believers. (Sato, 2009)

Believing in God has several psychological benefits:

  • It helps one seek assurance from a “higher power” during different crises of life
  • It helps to cope with adversity when times are difficult
  • It works as a barrier to harming others and oneself because of the accountability towards God, which in turn prevents a person from getting into trouble
  • It bolsters one’s confidence to face challenges in life by seeking help from God
  • It makes a person aware that his actions have consequences
  • It aids in coping with anxiety and fear that faced in one’s life
  • It makes a person motive-driven, as he knows that life has a purpose

 

Fitrah is a true gift from God, as it keeps a person in check, increases his self-control, and makes him conscious of his actions. It is like a fire alarm that goes off whenever the smoke of misdeeds reaches us, and our heart buzzes with what we called ‘guilt’. It is the belief that we are constantly under supervision, all day every day, and nothing escapes Him, the One who sees and hears everything.

 

It is because of fitrah we stop ourselves from straying off the path in our journey to success even when things are difficult, or seem impossible. People with a religious mindset tend to deal with the loss of loved ones, of wealth, or of job much better than people with no religious beliefs – as they understand that there is a reason for the loss, and if dealt with patiently, it will only lead to a greater good.

Fitrah also pushes us towards goodness. A person believing in one God and believing in the purpose of life, which is to worship Him alone, will strive to please Him. So believers tend to contribute more to the society, help people in distress and support others in times of need – all for His sake. This results in a positive effect on the overall society.

On the other hand, a person who has wandered off from his fitrah, has lost the anchor to goodness. He is like a person who has been plunged into total darkness without any direction. This person may walk towards mischief that harms not only him but the society as a whole. He may not care to check his speed limit when the police or any surveillance camera is not around. He may not care to hand over the cash he picked up off the street to the lady who dropped it if no one is watching. He may live a life not caring to contribute to the society if there isn’t anything in it for him. He may simply live life – just for himself.

Fitrah acts as a lighthouse which keeps us from getting lost. It protects us from self-destruction. One who can hold onto their fitrah amidst all struggles is the one who is protected. And in essence, nurturing the fitrah is what contributes to the physical and mental well-being of a person and protects him from harm’s way.

Bibliography

(n.d.). Retrieved August 24, 2017, from https://www.pinterest.com/taniaelizabeth/newborn-props-inspiration/

Azar, B. (2010, December). A Reason to Believe. Retrieved August 24, 2017, from American Psychological Association: http://www.apa.org/monitor/2010/12/believe.aspx

Cook, H. K. (2016, June 18). Renunite In Fitrah And Forgiveness, Making Peace. Retrieved August 24, 2017, from http://childhoodspeech.com/2016/06/meeting-ramadhan-fitrah-forgiveness/

Gloss, T. (2009). Faith in a Higher Power: The Study of Religion in Psychology. Retrieved August 24, 2017, from Association For Psychological Science: https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/faith-in-a-higher-power-the-study-of-religion-in-psychology

Merwe, K. v., Eeden, C. v., & Deventer, H. J. (2010). A Psychological Perspective on God-belief as a Source of Well-being and Meaning. Retrieved August 24, 2017, from AOSIS Publishing: http://www.hts.org.za/index.php/HTS/article/view/332/764#20

Philips, B. (2005). The Fundamentals of Tawheed. International Islamic Publication House.

Sato, R. (2009, August 23). Does Belief in a “Higher Power” Make People Happier? A Galaxy Classic. Retrieved August 24, 2017, from Daily Galaxy.com: http://www.dailygalaxy.com/my_weblog/2009/08/does-religion-make-people-happier-scientists-search-to-explain-why-people-believe-in-a-god.html

 

The Joy of Putting Others Down

By Ferdousy Akhter Tani

bullying

He smirked, feeling a sense of vicious satisfaction. That must have been the umpteenth time he managed to intimidate the weird boy – the weird, weak boy.

Bullying is a distinctive pattern of harming and humiliating others, specifically those who are in some way smaller, weaker, and younger or in any way more vulnerable than the bully.

Bullying is real.

Most of us, if not all, have witnessed or heard about someone getting bullied. As the word ‘bullying’ may seem rather nasty, we often inadvertently label it elsehow while overlooking the dangers it poses towards the people actually being bullied. It may happen around us while we turn a blind eye to it – either because it’s easy to ignore, or because the bully is our relative, a friend, sibling, or maybe even one’s boss.

It does feel good to win an argument, to defeat rather than being defeated. But we need to understand that bullying is much more than just winning an argument. It is the urge to put others down, emotionally or physically, and enjoying ourselves while at it. It is a badly-masked attempt to hide one’s insecurity; an insecurity which stems from poor control over one’s mind and actions. A bully somehow feels worthier after preying on his victim. However, close inspection reveals that the need to devalue others actually leads back to his depraved sense of self-worth. He feels the drive to increase his value by lowering someone else’s. He feels victorious as he sees his victim overpowered. But is it really a victory?

When you put someone down by using intimidation, snide remarks or any other misconduct, you are causing great harm to the person’s mental health. The one being bullied may become increasingly less confident, anxious and eventually fall into depression. A moment of joy for you may become the cause for prolonged agony for someone else. What may have been an excuse for entertainment for you may be a cause of anguish for another. An attack on someone’s physical appearance, financial status or racial background may leave a mark deeper than what you see. You cause fear, hurt and humiliation, all in one go! So is it really worth it? Is it worth inflicting pain on others just because you can? Is it worth seeing someone withering away mentally for a few seconds of amusement for yourself?

With instances of bullying, it is not only the victim who is affected but also the bully himself who brings about his own harm. His incessant need to control and put others down affects his relationship with others; he may become increasingly abusive to those around him; verbal abuse may follow physical abuse in no time; and all of this would lead to cause a greater harm for himself in the long run. Before he knows it, it could be his tranquility – and not just the victim’s – that will be destroyed. The momentary feeling of victory may lead to a greater and permanent loss for himself when his abusive nature pushes him towards violence, and he ends up doing something atrocious and irreversible.

From an Islamic viewpoint, bullying can be easily rebuked if we look at the statement of the Prophet ﷺ:

‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr bin Al-‘as (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “A Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hands the Muslims are safe;… “.

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

If people had followed just this one hadith, most of society’s problems would disappear overnight. Rasulullah ﷺ put a qualifier for those who wish to be Muslims. They are those who will try their best not to harm another Muslim, neither by words nor actions.

Even though the hadith mentions only Muslims, Islam teaches us to not wrong the non-Muslims as well.

The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “If anyone wrongs a mu‘aahid (a non-Muslim living under Muslim rule), detracts from his rights, burdens him with more work than he is able to do or takes something from him without his consent, I will plead for him (the mu‘aahid) on the Day of Resurrection.” [Abu Dawood; authentic]

One can clearly see that bullying has no place in Islam. There is no room for it in our deen to make others feel inferior just to show one’s superiority. It is deplorable to hurt one’s feelings only because he seems in some way weaker than oneself.

 

What to do to stop bullying?

 

  1. Recognize

Recognize bullying for what it is. When you see someone being put down, do not take it lightly. Make a mental note of doing something about the situation.

  1. Help

Get involved (depending on the scope you have) and offer help. Talk to the person being bullied. Highlight some positive things about them. Try to make them feel more confident about themselves. Take help from the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ.

Ibn Mas`ud climbed a tree and they started laughing at the thinness of his legs, whereupon the Prophet ﷺsaid: “I swear that they shall be heavier in the Balance than Mount Uhud.”(Ahmad; authentic)

  1. Stop it

Prophet ﷺ said, “Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart [by hating it] – and that is the weakest of faith” (Muslim)

A teacher may stop his students, a parent may stop his children, and a friend may stop his friends from engaging in bullying.

  1. Talk to the bully

Anas reported: “The Messenger of Allah said: ‘Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or is oppressed.’ A man asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah! I (know how to) help him when he is oppressed, but how can I help him when he is an oppressor?’ He said: ‘You can restrain him from committing oppression. That will be your help to him.’” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Tell them that their actions are wrong and let them know about the consequences of their actions; it could be that they are unaware of the damage they are causing to their victims.

A bully should know that it is a loss to let one’s emotions and actions go unchecked to the point that it leaves a permanent scar on the people who become prey to his bullying. It is a loss to send someone crying to bed. It is a loss greater for himself than those whom he thinks he has defeated.

Putting others down is not what he considers to be a victory. It’s a loss.

Husn udh-dhann finnaas – Having Good Opinion of People

By Naila Naiyyar

husn-udh-dhann-of-people

A lot of problems arise among families, relatives, in-laws, colleagues, and neighbors, simply due to having negative thoughts of them. Allah has clearly stated in the Holy Quran to avoid such negative assumptions, calling it a sin.

“O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is accepting of repentance and Merciful.” (Quran; 49:12)

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look for the others’ faults and do not spy, and do not be jealous of one another, and do not desert (cut your relation with) one another, and do not hate one another; and O Allah’s worshipers! Be brothers (as Allah has ordered you!”) (Bukhari)

Perhaps you see a friend online regularly updating on social media, but isn’t replying to your messages. Instead of jumping to a conclusion like she is ignoring you, fancy the thought that she may be too caught up with things and just needs a gentle reminder to get back to you.

That person who passed by you not replying to your salaams, possibly didn’t hear you.

That colleague who snapped rudely at you might be facing something terribly bad at home.

And even if you don’t know why the driver behind you overtook your car so dangerously, supposing that he might have an emergency to rush to will let you stay calm on the road and give you peace of mind, instead of letting it affect your mood adversely, which you would ultimately take back home or to work.

Developing a positive opinion of people does NOT mean ignoring danger signs or being careless and unguarded; rather, it means not to paint every one with the single brush of negativity; it means to not let stereotypes affect our judgment, and not to let other people’s personal experiences or opinions bleak our sense of rationality.

To put it briefly, having good opinion of people implies:

  • Thinking positive of others
  • Avoiding suspicion and wrong assumptions of others
  • Giving others the benefit of the doubt

 

The first step to eradicating negative thoughts of others is to acknowledge the problem. Next, is to work through it. In order to do that, we need to identify why we think the way we do. What could be the underlying factor for thinking ill of others? Some possible reasons are enlisted below. Identifying which one(s) affect us most would be able to help us in resolving our issues more effectively.

 

Reasons for thinking the worst of others:

1) Polluted heart

The first and foremost reason is having a polluted heart – a heart  low in eeman (faith) and taqwa (fear of Allah). The heart which is not clean will not be able to see nor seek the good in others. Such a heart weakens the eeman and pollutes the mind, with this pollution extending to our everyday-dealings with other people.

2) Stereotypes

We all have our own criteria of thoughts and beliefs based on which we judge people and events around us. However, external factors like family, peers, and society too condition this outlook of ours towards the world. This is where stereotypes come into play. We can reduce harboring bad opinion of people simply by not following stereotypes. Always objectively analyze the person or event in a particular situation before forming opinions. This would help us in being non-judgmental.

For example, a very common stereotype has to do with the mother and daughter-in-law dynamics, wherein a mother in-law is considered to be someone who is always against her daughter in-law. Even though a wife-to-be may not know her mother in-law well enough before marriage, she could step into her new family with preconceived ideas based on all the things she has heard about mothers-in-law in general. In doing so, she fails to realize that her husband’s mother is just like any other mother – including her own, who would only be eager to start a beautiful relationship with her new daughter-in-law.

A wise person will always think reasonably and avoid jumping to conclusions.

3) Lack of empathy

Empathy is a quality that helps us connect with people especially when they are going through tough times, and creates a bond of trust between two people. When we lack empathy we are unable to feel the other person’s situation. This leads to forming bad opinions about them when what they actually need from us is understanding and support.

4) Not being able to accept others’ achievements

This factor has a lot to do with being envious or jealous of others for their achievements. Some strategies to deal with envy are mentioned in our blog post here.

5) Difference of opinions

This refers to considering ill of others because they don’t agree with us in certain instances.

We need to realize that everyone has different approaches to life, and so our view will not necessarily be the same as that of another person. Since we are more prone to form wrong opinions about people when we don’t get along with them, we must be more mindful in such cases.

 

Benefits of having good opinion of people

1) The heart remains pure and free from wrong assumptions, malice, or rancor, instead is full of love for others.

2) It breeds positivity, promotes unity, and fosters love and respect for fellow human beings.

3) We are more concerned about improving our lives, instead of making others miserable.

4) We earn the Pleasure of Allah.

 

How to develop good opinion of people

1) Ask Allah to purify your heart. Raise your prayers to the One who answers.

2) Be constant in focusing on yourself and how you can improve your own life. It is not befitting of a Muslim to be unnecessarily concerned with others’ lives, following their every move.

As mentioned in the hadith, “Part of a person’s being a good Muslim is leaving alone that which does not concern him.” (Tirmidhi)

3) Be open-minded and try to understand each person’s situation.  Get more clarity into the situation by looking at it through different angles.

4) Feel happy for others achievements. Force it, if you have to. Allah will rush to your help when you put in your efforts, and soon the feelings of happiness would come to you naturally.

5) Always give others the benefit of the doubt. Give him/her a chance to put forward his opinion too. We need to keep in mind that no one is free from making mistakes. Hence, it is not fair to ignore the good deeds and focus only something they erred on.

6) Filter the information you get before forming an opinion. Instead of creating stories in your head, it is better to directly communicate with the other person in a civilized manner.

7) Understand and respect the differences of other people.

8) Always put yourself in the other’s situation and ask yourself how you would feel if people have prejudice in their hearts against you.

Why, when you heard it, did not the believing men and believing women think good of one another and say, “This is an obvious falsehood”? (Quran; 24:12)

 

Good opinion about kids in the home and at school

Having good opinion of children is crucial to help build their self-confidence. When adults have a good opinion of them, they feel good about themselves they will tend to perform well in all areas of life. But if adults assume that they are ‘just kids’ and so won’t be able to complete even a simple task then they are already setting the child up for failure. The same is the case with teachers. If a teacher believes that a student is and will always remain a C-grade student, then that’s just how the student will perform. Instead, when the student is given the confidence of excelling, s/he will actually begin to strive for it.

 

Final Notes

On the flip side, it is also important for us to be very clear and open about our own actions, and avoid things that will raise suspicion among those around us either through our facial and body gestures, or our actions.  We should be careful not to leave room for conceivable suspicion from others. A very beautiful example can be found in the following hadith:

Prophet Muhammad’s (peace be upon him) wife Safiyya visited him one night when he was observing I’tikaf. When it was time for her to leave, he stood up to bid her goodbye. During this time two men passed by them. When they saw Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) with a female they began to walk away swiftly. So he (peace be upon him) said, “Walk calmly, she is Safiyya, daughter of Huyyay.” Both of them said: “Messenger, Praise be to Allah. We cannot conceive of anything doubtful even in the remotest corners of our minds.” He (peace be upon him) said: “Satan circulates in the body of man like the circulation of blood and I was afraid lest it should instill any evil in your heart or anything.” (Muslim)

Husn udh-Dhann Billah – Having Good Opinion of Allah

By Naila Naiyyar

husn-udh-dhann

Husn udh-dhann billah means having a good opinion of Allah. It refers to being certain of receiving only good from Him; to have positive thoughts about Him, believing that He will deal with us in the best of ways. Allah says, “I am as My servant thinks I am”. (Bukhari) That is, in order for us to expect something good from Allah we have to truly believe that He is capable of giving that good.

Thinking well of Allah is a fundamental aspect of our worship. How can we worship Him the way He deserves to be worshipped when we are not aware of His Attributes or when we think that He is akin to the people around us?

One of the main causes of lacking  husn udh-dhann billah is our comparing Allah and His Attributes to those of humans, wrongly assuming that Allah will not be good to us because we ignored Him; or that He is One who takes pleasure from our sufferings and will not listen to our pleas because we disobeyed Him (na’udhubillah); or that since we have indulged in the worst of sins, He will put us in the blazing hell-fire, wondering why will He even consider us for heaven as there are so many pious people that already exist!  All such thoughts indicate that we do not know who Allah actually is or how Just and Merciful He is.

In order to avoid all these negative thoughts, we need to study and know the Attributes of Allah. Allah is nothing like any of His creation. He is free of defect and deficiencies. His Promise is always true and He never forgets. Even the tiniest of our deeds does not escape His Attention. He is never too busy to ignore us. Neither drowsiness overtakes Him, nor sleep. He always remembers us no matter how many times we forget Him. We need to firmly believe that Allah answers our duas, forgives us and that He is enough for us. Count all your Blessings and ponder over your past, recounting all the moments that Allah never let you down.

This lack of education on our part helps shaytaan play with our minds and heart. This creates hopelessness in us and we begin to despair the Mercy of Allah.

I will share two great examples of this from the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

 

Example 1:

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) set out of his home with Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) as his companion to migrate to Madeenah, while the Quraysh were conspiring against him. They hid in the cave of Thawr, and Abu Bakr said to him (peace be upon him) “If one of them looks down at his feet he will see us.” He (peace be  upon him) said, “What do you think, O Abu Bakr, of two the third of whom is Allah?

This is an example of nothing but having a strong conviction that Allah is the Most Powerful and the One in control of everything. Allah mentions this historical event in the Quran:

“If you do not aid the Prophet – Allah has already aided him when those who disbelieved had driven him out [of Makkah] as one of two, when they were in the cave and he said to his companion, “Do not grieve; indeed Allah is with us.” And Allah sent down his Tranquility upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the Word of Allah – that is the Highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.” (Quran, 9:40)

 

Example 2:

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was having his mid-day sleep under a tree, with his sword hanging on one of the branches. A Bedouin suddenly came and took the Prophet’s sword. The Prophet (peace be upon him) woke up and the Bedouin asked him, “Who will protect you from me?” He (peace be upon him) replied, “Allah”. The sword fell from the bedouin’s hand and the Prophet (peace be upon him) took his sword. (Bukhari)

 

Benefit of having good opinion of Allah

It makes life easy and productive. When we have husn udh-dhann billah, we’d have a sense of peace and inner calm which pushes us to do good with the belief that Allah will reward us and grant us success.

Husn udh-dhann billah also increases our tawakkul (trust) where we do our best and then leave the result up to Allah. If we had a bad opinion of Allah (soo’udhann billah) then we wouldn’t strive hard in life, nor would we wish to achieve anything because we would not expect anything good to happen to us.

We also need to keep in mind that good opinion has to be followed by good actions. We can’t be mean to people or disobey Allah and then expect that He be kind to us.

“And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out and will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent”. (Quran, 65:2-3)

 

How to Develop Husn udh-Dhann Billah

1) Making du’a with certainty

Making du’a is not only action of the lips but also includes the intention in one’s heart. People may raise their hands in making du’a but may not be sincere in asking Allah. They either make their minds up that Allah is never going to answer, or they preoccupy their minds so much with worldly thoughts that making dua becomes merely a ritual.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Call upon Allah when you are certain of a response, and know that Allah does not accept any supplication from a heart that is unfocused and distracted.” (Tirmidhi)

2) The intention of our deeds

Performing deeds solely for Allah’s Pleasure and having firm belief that Allah will accept them and reward us in the best way are yet other ways of imbibing husn udh-dhann billah. Else, we would never attempt at anything good or we may easily give up half-way questioning ourselves, ‘why bother when our actions are not bringing instant results or the way we want them to turn out?’

3) Belief in Allah’s Promise

Husn udh-dhann billah also refers to believing that Allah always keeps His word and will grant us all that He promises. For instance, if He Promises ease with every hardship, then indeed we will have that ease. If Allah Promises us increase in our sustenance if we spend in His way, then we must have firm belief in that too.

4) Repenting & seeking forgiveness

Allah says, “O My servants, you commit error night and day and I am there to Pardon your sins, so beg pardon from Me so that I should Grant you Pardon.” (Muslim)

This teaches us to sincerely repent and seek forgiveness from Allah with the hope that He will accept our repentance and forgive us. If we did not have this certainty in our hearts, then we will never seek forgiveness and perhaps will keep on sinning. Not expecting Allah to Forgive us or Grant us what we ask him is despairing of His Mercy and not believing in His Word.

5) Trials & tribulations

The most crucial stage to have a good opinion of Allah is when calamity falls upon the believer. It is very easy to complain at that time, lose hope and be in the worst state of negativity. But a believer knows that trials occur only due to Allah’s infinite Wisdom, and to purify and increase us in closeness to Him. We might not understand why we are suffering but being positive in those times will help us to accept Allah’s Decree and make us realize that tests from Allah are in our best interest which we may comprehend only later.

The Prophets and Messengers of Allah had pinned all their hopes onto Allah, most especially when all odds were stacked against them. The fire was cooled for Prophet Ibrahim, Prophet Yunus came out of the belly of a fish and Prophet Zakariya was blessed with a child even though he was old and his wife barren. Why? Because they knew that Allah would respond to their pleas and get them out of every situation no matter how impossible they seemed.

Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people.” (Surah Yusuf: 87)

6) Remember death

Finally, we are encouraged to remember Allah’s Mercy & Forgiveness on our death beds so that when we leave this world, we are hopeful of meeting our Lord.

Three days before Prophet (peace be upon him) passed away, said: “No one of you should die except thinking positively of Allah”. (Muslim)

 

Husn udh-Dhann Billah and Positive thinking

Having good opinion of Allah has one major byproduct – it makes us positive about life itself. This positive mindset will help us in keeping calm even during turbulences and help us get rid of pessimistic thoughts.

Having a positive outlook is the most important thing to bring ease in life especially when everything around us seems unbearable. It is the good belief that Allah is the Most Powerful, the Giver, our Savior & our Provider which will stop us from fearing people, and fear Allah instead. It will help us be consistent in our worship and teach us to ask from Allah alone rather than tiring ourselves in struggling to gaining acceptance from people. It frees us from the need of other human beings, and liberates us from following shaytaan and all those who follow him.

 

You may wonder: What if you did not experience success even though you worked hard and had good opinion of Allah? Well, remember that what seems like failure to us now will in fact bring only the best – even much better than what we had initially anticipated. It might be that Allah is saving us from something not in our knowledge. So we have to do our best in everything and accept His Divine Will that whatever we get is in our best interest and are thankful to Allah.

“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (Quran: 2:216)

Mending Myself

By Khalida Jalili

mending_myself.png

 

Let me tell you a short story about a teenage boy whose early life is possibly very similar to many of our own teenage lives:

Spoiled and wealthy, this young teen was the center of his mother’s attention and adoration. He lived a life of ample luxury because of his mother. He made one decision in his life, however, that completely overturned his mother’s affection towards him. She would tell him to give up the new change he had brought about in his life. She would even threaten to never eat or drink if he did not listen to her! And when he refused to concede, she too decided to make dramatic changes: she quit spoiling her son, thus depriving him of the luxurious life he once enjoyed. He was forced out of the house onto the streets in only one garment and left to figure out how to live life all on his own!

 

Before I let you know who this young man is, let me introduce you to another gentleman:

This young man loved his dad dearly and also cared a lot about his community. However, he too, like the teenager, was not treated well by his parent because of the lifestyle that he had adopted. His dad even threatened to stone him, demanding that he leave to somewhere far away from him, and the community he had well-wished for almost burned him alive! 

You might have already guessed that this young man was Ibrahim (peace be upon him). And the teenager mentioned earlier was none other than a sahabah named Mus’ab Ibn ‘Umayr (may Allah be pleased with him).

 

Anyone who knows what it means to be spoiled and then deprived, or to be dearly attached to people and then hurt by them, could relate (at least to some extent) to these two cases. Ibrahim (peace be upon him) and Mus’ab Ibn ‘Umayr (may Allah be pleased with him) were both emotionally and physically abused by their loved ones just because they chose Islam as their lifestyle.

Allah knows best if these experiences were traumatizing for either of them, since the validity of such an assertion will depend on various determinants such as whether they felt emotionally overwhelmed or if they felt “a threat to life, bodily integrity, or sanity” (Pearlman & Saakvitne, 1995, p. 60). Nevertheless, these experiences would definitely prove to be traumatic for many.

Yes, Mus’ab Ibn ‘Umayr (may Allah be pleased with him) was forced to leave his mom despite his love for her; but he found another family whom he loved just as much – if not more – and who loved him back as one of their own: Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and the sahabah (may Allah be pleased with them all). And yes, Ibrahim (peace be upon him) was driven out by his father and community; but not only did he find a different home and community,  he was also blessed with a family of his own along with a legacy his descendants remember until this day (Surah Maryam; 19: 41-50). SubhanAllah.

 

Regrettably, if you have ever experienced emotional trauma, you will know that it can be difficult to talk about your traumatic experience and to seek support, or even believe that you need support! Understand that you do not have to talk about anything that makes you uncomfortable; however, it is important to know that there are people out there whom you can trust. Of course, it is good to be cautious about whom you trust and to take necessary precautions, so do not think you are being paranoid if you find it difficult to trust others; but know that there are people who want the best for you. If you do not feel comfortable trusting a friend, family member, or teacher, try finding a counselor who is bound by law to keep your case information confidential (although, there are specific exceptions for safety and medical reasons, which they will explain to you).

Learning how to effectively deal with your fears, insecurities, and anxieties is important in maintaining your mental health. You cannot move past emotional trauma if you do not act. As tempting as it may be to stay within your own company, you need to connect with people who have the experience and knowledge to support you.

 

Ask yourself this: If you had a friend who was undergoing a rough time, how would you comfort him/her? What would you say to him/her? Would you be harsh with them, or gentle? You’d know that being harsh will only make the situation worse for them. Instead, you’d let them know that you are there for him/her. You would be compassionate to them and assist them in whatever way you can. Likewise, be compassionate to yourself.

In order to realize how best you can treat your mental and emotional illness, consider the physical illnesses that you face. When you have a cold, for instance, would you hope to get better just by lying in bed all day? Or would you get moving? Chances are you’d do the latter. You’d go to the pharmacy for medication and may even go the extra mile to try home-remedies or anything else that could cure you. This is how we should view our emotional health as well. The medicine is out there in the forms of counseling, joining a trauma support group, attending self-development workshops, and further educating ourselves on healing. Our medicine is there in the form of endeavoring to live a more productive lifestyle through salah, du’a, dhikr, exercise, healthy diet, and wholesome sleep.

 

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “There is no one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says:

اللِّهُمَّ إنِّي عَبْدُكَ ، ابْنُ عَبْدِكَ ، ابْنُ أَمَتِكَ ، نَاصِيَتِي بِيَدِكَ ، مَاضِ فِيَّ حُكْمُكَ ، عَدْلٌ فِيَّ قَضَاؤُكَ ، أَسْأَلُكَ بِكُلِّ اسْمٍ هُوَ لَكَ ، سَمَّيْتَ بِهِ نَفْسَكَ ، أَوْ أنْزَلْتَهُ فِي كِتَاَبِكَ ، أَوْ عَلَّمْتَهُ أَحَدًا مِنْ خَلْقِكَ ، أَوِ اسْتَأْثَرْتَ بِهِ فِي عِلْمِ الْغَيْبِ عِنْدَكَ ، أنْ تَجْعَلَ الْقُرْآنَ رَبِيعَ قَلْبِي ، وَ نُورَ صَدْرِي ، وَ جَلاءَ حُزْنِي ، وَ ذَهَابَ هَمِّي

Allaahumma innee ‘abduka ibn ‘abdika ibn amatika naasyati bi yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uk. As’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilmil-ghayb ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’ huzni wa dhahaaba hammee

Oh Allah, I am Your Slave, son of Your slave, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your Hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me if just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or taught to any one of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Quran the life of my heart and the light of my chest, and a departure of my sorrow and a release of my anxiety.

except that Allaah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with joy.” (Authenticated by Al-Albani)

 

Healing takes time, so be patient with yourself and the process. While we take all the means to heal, we should never forget that healing – whether physical or psychological – is ultimately in Allah’s Hands. He is Al-Shaafi, The Healer. And among Allah’s Most Beautiful names is Al-Jabbaar. The name Al-Jabbaar encompasses a very comprehensive definition, one of which is The Mender. Al-Jabbaar is the One Who can heal that bone fracture. Al-Jabbaar is the One Who can heal your heart when you feel hurt because of a bully, parent, child, friend, teacher, or stranger. He is the One Who is capable of healing your physical and psychological wounds.

 

May Al-Jabbaar mend you and your heart, dear reader.

Ameen.

Dealing with Envy

By Naila Naiyyar

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Envy is a feeling of displeasure that sets in upon knowing of another person’s achievement, success, fame, influence or possession, all the while feeling discontent and inferior about one’s own self. The envier may even wish that the blessing be removed from the envied.

Side notes:

 

Envy is a disease of the heart which can ruin one’s peace. Envying indicates low self-esteem and a sense of inferiority, as the envier feels unable to achieve what the envied has achieved.

Envy has no positive or constructive influence on the envier. In fact it causes resentment, bitterness, and if not controlled, then eventually, depression, anxiety and possibly even suicide – May Allah protect us. The envier may even go a step further and harm the envied as he can’t stand seeing him enjoying his milestones.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Envy consumes good deeds just as fire consumes wood, and charity extinguishes bad deeds just as water extinguishes fire. Prayer is the light of the believer and fasting is a shield against the Fire.” (Ibn Majah)

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Beware of envy because envy consumes (destroys) the virtues just as the fire consumes the firewood,” or he said “grass.” (Abu Dawud)

Due to the competitive world we live in where we are programmed to compare and compete with others. And so the envier wonders how the envied has managed to achieve a milestone when he/she has not, despite taking several efforts.

However, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has encouraged envy (ghibtah). But only in the following cases:

He said, “Envy is justified in regard to two types of persons only: a man whom Allah has given knowledge of the Qur’an, and so he recites it during the night and during the day; and a man whom Allah has given wealth and so he spends from it during the night and during the day.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

Feeling envious (without wishing for the other to lose his blessing) in these cases is encouraged in Islam due to its noble nature of pleasing Allah using the blessings provided Him.

As for the impressible type of envy, here are some coping strategies that we can employ:

 

Coping Strategies

 

  1. Count your Blessings

You are gifted in ways different than others and are blessed with a life worth celebrating. You are unique and don’t have to live life like everyone else. Sit down in a quiet and comfortable place and think of all that you have been bestowed upon by Allah Almighty; do not ignore even the smallest of things. This activity will make you realize that you are indeed valuable; and will question yourself, “why am I sulking over this (envy) and making my life miserable when I already have so much!”

 

  1. Stop comparing

You must realize that there will be people who will always have it better than you. And then, there will be people who don’t have what you do. Why not compare yourself to them?!

If you compare yourself with those who have what you don’t, you will feel as if you don’t have anything at all. Amazingly, the people who you envy might in turn, be wishing for things that you have! You see, everyone can’t have everything.

Have a look at this hadith and ponder over it. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “Look at those who are beneath you and do not look at those who are above you, for it is more suitable that you should not consider as less the blessing of Allah. (Ibn Majah)

 

The only time you should look above you is when you see people attaining authentic knowledge of deen and doing good deeds to Please Allah.

 

  1. Avoid people who value the wrong things

Stay away from those who are ‘obsessed’ with and gauge their success with nothing but the latest gadgets, branded clothes, or eating at high-end restaurants, valuing neither time, morals, etiquettes, nor good manners. Instead, choose people who are always grateful to Allah with whatever they have.

 

  1. Beware the consumer culture and materialism

No matter where you look, the marketers will tell you that if you don’t have what your neighbor has then you are the biggest loser. It’s not wrong to be ambitious or struggle to make yourself better and enjoy the blessings of Allah in this world, but it should not be at the expense of your peace of mind and soul.

 

  1. Learn to be happy for people

People enjoy their blessings because Allah planned to give them those blessings in the first place. By not being happy for them, we are actually complaining to Allah of His Will! Instead, congratulate them and give them gifts.

Conversely, ask yourself: How would you feel if people envy you for your blessings?

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “None of you [truly] believes until he loves for his brother that which he loves for himself.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

Another time, he said, “…Whoever wishes to be delivered from the fire and enter the garden should die with faith in Allah and the Last Day and should treat the people as he wishes to be treated by them…” (Muslim)

 

  1. Identify the trigger points

Analyze what’s making you envy and feeling insecure. Is it something that you greatly value, something you have been working on too long but haven’t been successful in? Try to work even harder to achieve it and leave the rest to Allah.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Do not envy one another; do not inflate prices by overbidding against one another; do not hate one another; do not harbor malice against one another; and do not enter into commercial transaction when others have entered into that (transaction); but be you, O slaves of Allah, as brothers. A Muslim is the brother of another Muslim; he neither oppresses him nor does he look down upon him, nor does he humiliate him. Piety is here, (and he pointed to his chest three times). It is enough evil for a Muslim to hold his brother Muslim in contempt. All things of a Muslim are inviolable for his brother-in-faith: his blood, his property and his honor”. (Muslim)

 

  1. Make Dua when you hear good news about others

Ask Allah to bless them even more and Protect form from evil eye. Ask Allah to make you content of all His Decisions and bless you with even better than what they have. And the best part is when you make dua for anyone, the angels say Aameen too!

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The supplication of a Muslim for his (Muslim) brother in his absence will certainly be answered. Every time he makes a supplication for good for his brother, the angel appointed for this particular task says: Aameen! May it be for you too.” (Muslim)

 

  1. Examine your intention and goals

What is it that is making you envy? In what way, will achieving it, make you feel enriched, happy and successful? Why not work on what you already have and excel in it? What can you do, the halal way, to achieve what others have? Does your success truly depend on it? Are you sure you will be ‘happy’ once you achieve what the other person has or enjoys.

Work on these questions so that you can manage these emotions in a positive and productive manner.

 

  1. Belief in Qadr/Allah’s Decree

Allah is the one who blesses everyone with what they are destined for and that which is in their best interest.

“Do they distribute the mercy of your Lord? It is We who have apportioned among them their livelihood in the life of this world and have raised some of them above others in degrees [of rank] that they may make use of one another for service. But the mercy of your Lord is better than whatever they accumulate.” (Surah Az-Zukhruf; 43:32)

“And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allah of his bounty. Indeed Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing.” (Surah An-Nisa; 4:32)

 

  1. Build up your self confidence

Envy is usually a result of low self-esteem. Be confident of who you are, your achievements and your talents. Work on them to achieve greater heights.

 

  1. Life is a Test

Everything in this dunya is a test; difficult times as well as the blessings. If Allah can Give, He can take it back too. Generally, we humans start boasting about our achievements and forget to thank Allah. So thank Allah and succeed in your tests. As Allah mentions in the Holy Quran, “If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]”. (Surah Ibrahim; 14:7)

 

Bonus: Envy & Social Media

With the increased trend of people updating statuses and sharing posts about each and everything going on in their life, it’s very easy to fall in the trap of feeling inferior to others.

Topper at the university, landing the dream job, marriage, best wedding coverage, best spouse, latest car, huge mansion, branded clothes, baby shower, birthday parties, outings, check-ins, holiday trips, etc. Everything seems so beautiful and complete for such people, doesn’t it?

Know that no one in this dunya is without issues or problems, and such people have their own set of problems too (conversely, due to this self-advertising and over-exposure they may in fact, be inviting the evil eye towards themselves).  So do not worry too much looking at their status and picture updates. They have just as normal a life as anyone else.

 

Recommended Reading:

Diseases of the Hearts and their Cures

“I Am Muslim & I Want To Die” Part 1 – Shedding Light on Suicide

By Khalida Jalili

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It is okay to talk about suicide. Yes, I said it. Talking about suicide or individuals who killed themselves is taboo in many societies. Ironically, based on the book Building Bridges by the U.S.A. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration (SAMHSA), open dialogues and education on suicide prevention can save lives.

According to the article Attempters’ Long-term Survival, 70% suicide attempters who were accompanied by medical care did not later die from suicide. However, the article further mentions that a previous suicide attempt is still a very strong risk factor for a future suicide; so addressing this issue is extremely important.

Handling Tough Times 

You may find yourself at a point in your life where you feel as if you cannot go on anymore, as if the only solution to all the problems you’re drowning in is your disappearance.

No matter how lonely, depressed, anxious, agitated, misunderstood, and enraged you feel, there are many ways to surmount your problems. Suicide is not one of them. In fact, it’ll make your situation worse, not better.

You must first believe that you can and will go on with life. Allah knows you can definitely handle whatever is going on in your life right now:

“Allah does not bear a soul more than it can bear” (Al-Baqarah; 2: 286)

Always Having Hope No Matter What

Two very powerful ahaadith to always keep in mind when feeling suicidal are:

“Let none of you die unless he has good expectations from Allah.” (Sahih Muslim)

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “None of you should wish for death because of a calamity befalling him; but if he has to wish for death, he should say: ‘O Allah! Keep me alive as long as life is better for me, and let me die if death is better for me’.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

There is always hope. Have good expectations that Allah will make your situation better and facilitate the means to give you whatever is good for you. Allah is to His slaves as they assume Him to be. If we believe He will give us the best in both worlds, then He will because He is capable of doing that.

Asking For What You Want

Turn your despairing moments into earnest du’aas in which you ask Allah to alleviate your difficulties. Ask Him whatever you want, and He will give it to you – as long as it is good for you (as what we think is good for us may not always be good for us!). Allah is Al-Kareem, The Extremely Generous, so He will definitely bless you with the best and more – if you ask.

“And When My servants ask you concerning Me – Indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me (by obedience) and believe in Me that they may be rightly guided.” (Al-Baqarah; 2: 186)

Seeking Wisdom In The Darkness

Many times, our hearts ache when we don’t understand why certain occurrences ensued against our wishes. We may feel frustrated about the present and hopeless about the future. In order to rectify this, ask Allah to show you the wisdom and ease within your difficulties. Ask Him to improve your situation.

Understanding Yourself

Without understanding the cause, it’s not easy to eliminate the effect (i.e. suicidal thoughts). Ask yourself, “How often do I have suicidal thoughts and why? What triggers my thoughts? What can I do to protect myself?”

To better answer these questions, continue on to the second part of this article.

Patience Preserves the Health of Hearts and Bodies!

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Ibn al-Qayyim said in The Prophetic Medicine regarding patience:

Patience is half of faith; for this is a quality composed of patience and gratitude. As one of the ancestors (salaf) has said: Faith is in two halves: one half patience, one half gratitude. And the Most High said:

Indeed in that there are signs for each one who is patiently persevering and truly grateful [Surah Ibrahim: 5].

Patience in relation to faith is like the head in relation to the body. It is of three types:

  1. Patience concerning the obligations (fard) laid down by Allah, that one should not neglect them;
  2. Patience in abstaining from actions forbidden by Him, that one should not commit them;
  3. Patience concerning His judgments (qada’) and decrees (qadar), that one should not resent them.

Whoever perfectly fulfills these three degrees has perfected patience. For the pleasure of this world and the next, their blessings, and victory and conquest can only be reached over the bridge of patience, just as no-one reaches Paradise except by crossing over the Path. ‘Umar bin al-Khattab said: We attained the best of life through patience.

If you reflect on the degrees of perfection acquired in the world, you will see that they are all dependent on patience. And if you reflect on imperfection, which one is blamed for possessing, you will see it all stemming from lack of patience. Thus courage and purity, goodness and love of others, all this is the patience of an hour.

Most sicknesses of the body and heart arise simply from lack of patience. And there is naught like patience for preserving the health of hearts, bodies and spirits. For it is the great remedy, the mighty tiryaq, even if it were to contain only the company of Allah

“for Allah is with the patient” [Surah Al-Baqarah:153],

and His affection for them for indeed

“Allah loves those who are patient”[Surah Al-Imran:146],

and His giving victory to His people ‘for victory comes with patience’; and that it is a good for the people of patience,

“And if you show patience, that is indeed the best course for those who are patient” [Surah An-Nahl: 126],

and that it is the cause of prosperity,

“O you who believe! Persevere in patience, vie in perseverance, be ever vigilant, and fear Allah, that perhaps you may prosper” [Surah Al-Imran:200].

 

 

How to Protect your Home from the Shayateen / Devils?

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1) It is important to note that the bricks and mortar of your home do not become “possessed” nor do they become “holy” – the shayateen don’t have anything against your house as an object! They will cause problems to affect you and your children – both psychological and physical.

2) Therefore, the most important part of protecting your house isyour level of emaan, your aqeedah and your adherence to the sunnah – the closer you become to Allah, the more you follow the sunnah; the less the shayateen will be able to affect you.  And Allah’s Aid is sought.

3) Recite Surat Al Baqarah in your home at least once every 3 days. This can be done in a number of ways. You can either recite it in one go and then recite it again after three days or you can split the recitation over three days to make it easier for yourself.

  • The prophet (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said – “Do not turn your houses into graves. Verily, Shaytan does not enter the house where Surat Al-Baqarah is recited.” (Musnad Ahmad / Muslim / Tirmidhi)
  • The prophet (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said – “Whoever recites Al-Baqarah at night in his house, then Shaytan will not enter that house for three nights. Whoever recites it during a day in his house, then Shaytan will not enter that house for three days. (At-Tabarani / Ibn Hibbaan)

 Note: It is NOT sufficient to listen to a recorded recitation of Surat al Baqarah and the scholars have spoken clearly on this issue – the sura must be recited. If you are a revert or cannot recite clearly then ask someone to recite it for you while you learn, or at the very least, then listen to it once every three days. BUT remember that this is ONLY for those who cannot recite, it is not a reason for us to become lazy. If you want the protection, then recite it.

4) There should be no pictures or statues on display in your home of any sort, this includes digital photo frames.

  • The messenger (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said – “The angels do not enter a house in which there is an image.” (Bukhari / Muslim)

Where the angels of mercy do not enter, the shayateen will congregate in that area.

5) There should be no music or movies being watched in your home – these are vices from shaytaan and you are literally inviting the devils into your home if you listen to or watch these things.

6) Enter the home with your right foot and say Bismillah and when you eat say Bismillah.

  • The prophet (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said – “If a person mentions the Name of Allah upon entering his house or eating, Satan says, addressing his followers: `You will find no where to spend the night and no dinner.’ But if he enters without mentioning the Name of Allah, Satan says [To his followers]; ‘You have found [A place] to spend the night in, and if he does not mention the Name of Allah at the time of eating, Satan says: `You have found [A place] to spend the night in as well as food.” (Muslim)

7) If the shayateen are causing problems in your home, do NOT curse them, rather say Bismillah.

  • The prophet (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) “Do not say: May the devil perish! For if you say that, he will swell so much so that he will be like a house, and say: By my power. But say Bismillah for when you say that, he will diminish so much so that he will be like a fly.” (An-Nasai / Ahmad / Abu Dawud)

8) Close your doors and windows and say Bismillah when doing so, particularly when it’s dark.

  • The prophet (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said – “When night falls stop your children from going out, for the devils spread out at that time. But when an hour of the night has passed, release them and close the doors and mention Allah’s Name, for Satan does not open a closed door. Tie the mouth of your water-skin and mention Allah’s Name; cover your containers and utensils and mention Allah’s Name. Cover them even by placing something across it, and extinguish your lamps. ” (Bukhari / Abu Dawud)

9) There should be no taweez in your home whatsoever – this is shirk and it will be an open door for shayateen to enter into your home and cause havoc. If you have a taweez see my previous posts for information on how to destroy them.

10) Perform a lot of dhikr and extra prayers in your home.

  • The messenger (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said – “The example of one who remembers Allah and someone who does not, is like the example between the living and the dead.”

The dead live in graveyards, don’t make your home a graveyard.

11) Make the adhaan in your home, if possible, for each of the five daily prayers.

  • The messenger (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said – “When the call to prayer is made, Shaytaan flees on his heels….” 

12) Take some water in a spray bottle and recite the following – Sura Fatiha x 7 / Ayatul Kursi x 7 / Last two verses of surat al Baqarah x 3 / Ikhlas x 7 / Falaq x 7 / Nas x 7. After each sura, spittle into the water. Take this water and spray into the corners of each room. Don’t spray in the toilets.

You can do this morning and evening. This is from experience and can be left out if you wish.

13) Keep your home clean and hygienic, smelling good. The devils dwell in filthy places.

14) Make a lot of duaa and give in charity, seeking to come closer to Allah.

15) Have patience. The shayateen will try to put you off or intimidate you but if you are patient and perseverant then they will realise that their attempts are not working and they will stop.

16) You should perform ruqya over yourself. Method of self-ruqya is given here.

Ultimately, Allah knows best and ALL protection is from Him. Turn to Allah and make your religion sincerely for Him. He will protect you and shower blessings upon you.

via Diaries Of An Exorcist