She is the woman-I want to be!

By Umm ‘Aisha

She was a wealthy business woman, noblest in the area, strongest in her character but softest from her heart. She had experienced a lot of difficulties in her 40 years of life including the death of her noble father and facing widow-ship twice. She had grown old by now, but a gem like her would need protection. She was destined for the best of all men and was now the wife of Al-Ameen.

She knew that she was honored to be his wife, but it didn’t make her proud rather it added to her beauty. A real women- as she was, she handed over her business matters to her husband and felt satisfied with the role of a simple and devoted housewife.

Though she was elder in age, yet she assisted him so well that his heart was soon hers.

She would love serving him herself, fulfilling all his needs, ensuring his satisfaction, happiness and comfort. All this was not expected from a women of such high status, but she proved herself to be an ideal wife.

Time was flying smoothly when she would sense some disturbance. Khadija’s love, the center of her life, her beloved husband– didn’t seem peaceful, his eyes would search something that he didn’t know. He was still the best to his wife and family, but he had a spiritual thirst to be quenched. She would recognize all his questions but didn’t have any answer to them. She could also feel the same void in her heart, but his pain was more than hers. He had started loosing interest in worldly matters now and Khadija, once again had to handle the business. She could read her husband’s heart beats so well that she did not need to ask him any whys, whats and hows! All that concerned her, was Muhammad’s (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) life, his protection and peace of heart.

She would guard him outside Cave Hira when he would go there out of frustration, when he needed to be alone with his Lord. She would also look after the business, the children at home and all domestic matters while Muhammad (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) would watch the House of ALLAH from the mount wondering about the “Missing Element”. She dared not to utter a single sigh on the problems she was facing because of “The Change” her husband was going through.

She was standing beside him as a firm wall, when one night he came running towards her from Hira, trembling was his tone and all he would say was “Cover me up”. She didn’t question anything before comforting him, he had something strange to tell her. It would have shocked her that her Love was near death a while ago, but all she had to do was to support him. She showed full trust in ALLAH and relaxed him by saying that ALLAH would not leave him because he had a noble character.

Understanding the scenario as a matter related to heavens, she took him to her cousin who knew the earlier heavenly scriptures.

Everything was soon clear to the worried couple. But never did they imagine of facing extreme hardships out of their empathy for the people.The sun in the form of Islam had risen to conquer the darkness, and Muhammad was chosen as the Final Messenger of ALLAH, may Peace and Blessings of ALLAH be upon him.

His thirst was quenched and he was shown the right path now.


93_7

And He found you lost and guided [you] [93:7]

But every blessing comes with trials, so did this honor. Khadija trusted the words of her husband, accepted his Message and became the first Muslimah. She had the insight of the importance of her husband’s mission and it kept her firm on her support for Muhammad (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) The couple had to go through a list of trials only because they were delivering the True Message. She had always been the best emotional counselor for him (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) but now the need of her counseling had increased. He would come home with a heavy heart after listening to the allegations of his own people, who once used to call him As-Saadiq and Al-Ameen, and Khadija would remove all the pains and sufferings.

Situation was getting worse each day but it only added strength to the Imaan of Muhammad (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) and his followers. Khadija spent all her wealth for the cause of Islam and proved her sincerity to her husband. Her Imaan was strong enough to bear the pain of divorce for two of her daughters and the torture from the whole city. She never complained to Muhammad (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam), neither did she expressed any discomfort, she was still serving her husband as before. Her service to Islam and the Prophet (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) of Islam won her the tidings of Jannah in this world and ALLAH sent her “Salaam” from the seventh heaven. She helped the Prophet (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) all her life and her belief was strengthened by time but the whirlpools of Shaiba-e- Abi Talib worsen her health, and she died at the end of the 3 years’ boycott.

Such was the character of the beloved wife of the last Prophet (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam), Khadija (Radhi Allaahu ‘Anha).

May her soul rest in Peace. Aameen.

A Tale Of Beauty…

 

By Bint Salman

make up itemsAppearances Are Deceptive:

She elegantly walked with her low-cut gown and long bare legs on the red-carpet. The glitter on her visage shone brilliantly as she threw smiles at the audience waving her hand up in the air. The golden crown on her head was her dream that had come true. Amidst the glamour and celebration, she felt her heart slowly sinking in, the vacuum in her getting larger, and happiness culminating in a strong wave of anxiety. Is that all she got after a long wait? she got everything she ever desired then WHY?…why is life so hollow and incomplete?

Tears trickled down her cheeks, she was lost but she couldn’t figure out why!

Days later she committed suicide..

The term beauty is quite flexible; everyone seems to have his own way of defining it. The beauty pageants organized every year may arrive at their tough decision of identifying the most beautiful girl from across the globe and crowning her for her ravishing outward appearance. But this is just a trivial matter of something which is apparent; the looks. What lies beyond those looks? A hidden horrible adulteress, cabinet filled with anti-depressants, tentative cuts around the wrist due to suicidal attempts, a state of constant unrest  and apathy? For sure we don’t know. The fashion and beauty industry are muti million dollar industries, smartly exploiting women.Woman want to be in the rat race by either providing their services as  fashion/beauty icons or by proving as the potential customers of designers from Haute Couture.

The tale of beauty and glamour which is so well-known today is nothing but an epic delusion; it’s so hollow and superficial.Instead of being influenced by it, you should relish walking in your own beauty that shines from your faith and obedience to the Creator.

Am I Really Beautiful?!

You should not consider anyone as a standard of beauty such as a certain celebrity or super-model. Do not compare your looks to those around, in this way you just end up hurting yourself more by feeling more dissatisfied about the shape of your nose, skin complexion, hair color or whatever it is. There is a huge diversity in the creation of Allah; each one of us is different and unique. The comparison only leads to jealousy, envy, frustration and disappointment. You can make the most of your capabilities, talents and excel in something you have passion for instead of wasting time in such comparisons which grieve you.

Whoever told you that you are ugly is either ignorant or heedless of the fact that Al-Kha’aliq: The Creator and Al-Mussawir: The Fashioner has created all of us in the best of form. In His Creation is the epitome of perfection. Allah says:

‘Verily,we Created man in the best form’ (Surah At-Teen – Ayah 4). 

In surah Taghabun Allah says:

“He created the heavens and earth in truth and formed you and perfected your forms; and to Him is the [final] destination.” (Taghābun, 64:3)

Though He confers upon some certain blessings and keeps others from having those to test all. So we find some people indulging in disobedience of Allah through those blessings, thereby failing the test while others who are deprived of those blessings showing impatience and discontent also failing the test. The essential requirement of passing the test is profession of satisfaction and gratitude in heart and declaring: Alhumdulillah!

So, you have now a strong reason to be happy, bold and pleased with the way you naturally look even when you don’t have your make-up or lenses on.

Beauty Lies in the Eyes of Beholder:

Every person has his own way of grading looks, for some a heart-shaped face is more adorable, while others find a slightly long face with sharp features more exotic. In truth the eye is pleased with what the heart approves!

The fear of rejection and denial should not be fostered as it damages ones confidence, self-esteem and self-worth. There is a motivation factor for all those sisters who believe that they aren’t beautiful in the fact that ‘it is strength of conviction, good character, modesty and steadfastness which renders an everlasting and profound beauty. These were the qualities which adorned the most beautiful women who made history. Do we know any precise details of their shapes and curves? It’s only the details of their courage and the way they spent their lives in accordance to their conviction and relationship with Allah that adorned the pages of those books, and that every time we read about them we are taken by awe and get remarkably inspired arriving at a sensible conclusion that these were truly the most beautiful women that ever existed on the face of this planet.

Any woman who emulates these perfect role-models succeeds in becoming the most beloved in the sight of her Creator. After all, what more does a sincere believer desire than to be the best in the sight of the one she/he loves the most?. This thought itself is so empowering and brings multiple benefits:

-As a Muslimah fixes herself for her Creator and makes His pleasure and His love her ultimate goal in life she feels the deep void within her gradually filling up, completing her soul.

-As she finds her true purpose in life , the discovery opens doors of happiness and success in her life.She lives by the goal of spending her life in serviude to Allah, fills her heart with the love of her Master to a point that worldly attachments get minuscule and vague.

-She doesn’t crave for any na-mahram’s attention or compliments on her looks. She keeps herself from flaunting her beauty in front of those who try to take advantage of it by crowning herself with obedience of Allah through Hijaab. Her beauty keeps growing under the protection of this modest covering exactly the way a pearl is furnished with luster inside the covering of an oyster deep down in oceans and seas.

-She focuses more on beautifying her inner which doesn’t age, wrinkle or wither by time but will make her scales go down by it’s weight on the day of judgment.

Narrated by Abu Darda: The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “There is nothing heavier upon the scale of a believer (on the Day of Judgment) than good character.”

Therefore, if you imitate actresses or super-models, you will never be able to achieve happiness and confidence, so discover yourself and  be yourself.

The man who truly fears Allah values a fore mentioned traits in a woman and finds her beautiful irrespective of whether she has an ideal figure, height and complexion or not. So don’t worry he will love you for the way you are ( but that doesn’t mean I don’t encourage women to groom themselves and make an effort to look good for their husband, ofcourse they should within the bounds of sharia)

”O Allah! as you have Created my External Beautiful, Beautify my Character (inner) as well.”

Let’s Face it!

By Bint Salman

wordleWe have a lot of material available in the form of books and articles on Islamic aspects of parenting. As we hear people concluding that the Islamic parenting entails that you work on your kids mainly by providing them Islamic education, however little do we realize what the exact meaning the term : ‘Islamic education’ has. Many parents create a great hype about it, they admit their kid in the most expensive of Islamic institutes or the kid is found enrolled in Tahfeez, Tafsir, Fiqh , Seerah and Aqeedah courses which is a good thing and not my point of objection here. However I simply intend to expose the loopholes in the Islamic education that we aim to provide our children. Unfortunately  we don’t bother to ascertain whether our kid is correctly applying what he is learning, and even worse than this negligence is our own weaknesses that we fail to be those shining role-models for them. When we find our kids wining trophies or getting certificates in Qirah or other Islamic events we boast about their performances, assuming them to be too righteous to ever hold them accountable for their misdeeds.

I got to know about an incident which took place in the recent past. There was a boy who was a Haafiz and was considered to have accomplished much in deen. Despite all that, he would bully little kids and curse a lot behind his parent’s back. One day he got into a fight with a little boy and dashed to catch him. The boy ran speedily falling over his face and ended up having his teeth broken and bleed profusely. When the whole account was narrated to the elder guy’s parents they got too defensive and refused to believe that their son could do any such thing. Unfortunately such attitude from parent’s side makes the kids more courageous and daring causing them to persist in their bad habits till it becomes a second part of their nature.

The essential and integral part of education system is the practical demonstration of theories, facts and examples which reinforces the learning process. Little attention is paid on practical applications of the teachings of Islam. Would not the kids get a much distorted picture of the whole concept when on one hand they are made to learn about the spirit of sacrifice, brotherhood, mutual respect and love while on the other hand they see a totally opposite picture presented to them by their parents and elders? Don’t you think in this way we are transmitting this disease of hypocrisy in them?

Tarbiyah actually means to impart the Ilm in such a way that it motivates the child to act in accordance to what he is taught. Otherwise most of the kids are intelligent and capable enough to get a whole lot of certificates, excellent scores and recognition as young Aalims, but that is not really the purpose!

A few important things parents must practice while embarking upon the journey of Islamic parenting:

– Don’t merely tell your kids to practice Husn-e-Zun, middle path ,compassion and sacrifice when you constantly talk negative about your in-laws, indulge in back-biting, shop lavishly, treat your servants /lower class coldly, are not willing to make sacrifices for others.

-Teach your kids to respect and love their siblings, make sacrifices and uphold compromises. Encourage them to spend the things which they love the most in the way of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’ala). Motivate them to choose/desire for others what they love for themselves.

-Take things to the next level, instead of just emotionally narrating to them the Tafsir and Hadith, train them on how to bring the teachings of Islam to life!

– Constantly remind them of their actual goal in this life, which is to worship Allah, till it gets infused in their conscious and sub-conscious and they learn exactly how to keep away from things which lie in contradiction to that goal.

– Instill in them the love, greatness knowledge and fear of Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala).

– Train them on how to resist and despise the unIslamic trends, culture and evil practices prevalent in our society which are truly disgusting from the inside but nicely wrapped to deceive us, the tricks of shaitan, the modern age delusions such as fashion, movies, sex culture ( in modest/appropriate way).

– Show and teach them courtesy, respect and Islamic moral values and warn them against pride and arrogance.

– Constantly make Du’aa for your kids:

“…Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of those who have Taqwa.” (Furqan: 74)

On the final note: Let’s us try to be the people of actions and not just words. May Allah protect us and our generations to come. Aameen.