I Am Sensitive!

By Umm ‘Aisha

I am sensitive! This is what I thought of myself before learning Quran. Whenever someone hurt me, smirked at me, whenever they ignored me, my love, my sacrifices, whenever they mocked, ridiculed and flattered me! I was sensitive enough to waste my days and nights thinking, crying and cursing myself, blaming others that they don’t value my intense feelings for them!

I thought it was the soft heart from ALLAH, which makes me this touchy. Though it hindered my functionality but it also drew me closer to Al-Wadud! And after a long painful journey He made me read His words, and learn the realities of life through His love. And I learnt the ultimate reality behind relations, that it was never “You, They and Them” that hurt me; it was “Me, I and Myself” that hurt me! It was not their attitude that broke my heart; it was my weakness that it broke! It was not their fault that they cheated me; it was my fault that I trusted them more than trusting ALLAH! It was not their harshness that caused me insomnia, but my inability to take them as humans, who are nothing but to err!

And I still believe that “I am Sensitive”.

I am sensitive for the feelings of my people! I am sensitive for the pains they bear! I am sensitive to what wrong people are doing with their lives! I am sensitive if people are committing sins and ending into Hell fire forever or if they are earning the pleasure of their Lord! I am sensitive if my words and actions hurt them or make them smile!

And I don’t experience any insomnias, depressions and broken hearts now! I only enjoy my tears that may wipe away my misdeeds and help me become a better human, a better Muslim and a real help for all other sensitive people out there!