The Inseparable Two

By Umm ‘Aisha

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BismiLLAH,

Our beloved Prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said: “Indeed Haya (modesty) and Iman (faith) are Companions. When one of them is lifted, the other leaves as well. [Baihaqi]

Haya and Iman- these two remain joined together like Siamese twins!

Today we see shameless and immodest acts being committed openly around us by ‘Muslims’ in ‘Islamic’ countries.  Is it a sign that the level of our Iman has decreased so much that Haya is vanishing away?

The important question is: “What does Iman or faith in Allah give us? And how does shamelessness take it away?”

Faith in Allah is something that makes us accountable to One Supreme Being;
it makes us conscious of being ‘watched’,
it strengthens our belief in the Day that is approaching,
it makes us fearful of standing in front of the Rabb of the worlds,
it gives us a goal- a goal that doesn’t just revolve around ‘wake-up, eat, drink, have fun, die- THE END’,
it makes us work for something Supreme.

To sum it up: It makes us slaves of The King who made us his inheritors of this earth.  It makes us yearn and strive to be rewarded with the most amazing award imaginable: to see Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta’ala), to be in His Company, and to be His guests in Jannah.

Can someone with such a high aim afford to just play around all his life carelessly?  I believe not.

And this is where Haya comes in.  When you have such a high aim, such consciousness of Him, and such overwhelming thoughts about the One who owns you- you can’t dare do anything that displeases Him and takes you away from your goal.  When a Muslim realizes that his/her life is a struggle, not playful entertainment, it is then that Haya evolves and life truly begins.

Unfortunately, we appear to be living in a Dreamland where everyone is sleeping and chasing that ‘prince/princess’ of their dreams, without whom their life seems empty and worthless.

The essence of Iman has been lost, and the mission has been abandoned!

No one seems to know or care why Allah created them or what being a Muslim implies.  Had we understood the reality,  we would never have rushed behind a mirage hoping that it ends in marriage, that too in name of: ‘Half my Deen’!
In reality, how many of us have made marriage ‘all my Deen’ or ‘My only Deen’– the only thing we’re concerned about, our only aim in life!

Having said that, people may assume that I don’t regard marriage as an important part of Deen (Na’oodhubillah). It’s not so!

I do believe in marriage being half of the Deen as mentioned in a famous Hadith.  I believe in marriage being a Halal way to satisfy one’s desires.  It is indeed a beautiful Sunnah that can’t be neglected.  But when you make it your center of life, the only thing you dream of, the only worry and concern that consumes you – then it does become a problem!

Having read and understood the aim of a Muslim above, understand the position of marriage by this example:

Suppose you are at a point X and you want to reach point Y, and you meet a person who also wants to reach point Y, and you feel that journey will become easier if you both started to travel together- so you both start to travel together.

So you see, that person is just a facilitator in the journey.  Just a buddy.  A means to the destination.  Not the destination.  Not the end.  And it’s not that without him/her, you can’t move ahead.  You can and must continue to travel to point Y with or without that person.

Similarly, you are here to LIVE YOUR PURPOSE.  While doing this, if you meet a person, whom you think, can assist you in living your purpose and make the journey of life smooth, you marry that person.  That’s marriage- a MEAN not an END.

Understanding this fundamental point can help to solve most of the “love affairs”, rather “lust affairs” in sha Allah.

Courtesy: Youth Club Blog [http://youthclubblog.wordpress.com/2013/10/30/the-inseparable-two/]

She is the woman-I want to be!

By Umm ‘Aisha

She was a wealthy business woman, noblest in the area, strongest in her character but softest from her heart. She had experienced a lot of difficulties in her 40 years of life including the death of her noble father and facing widow-ship twice. She had grown old by now, but a gem like her would need protection. She was destined for the best of all men and was now the wife of Al-Ameen.

She knew that she was honored to be his wife, but it didn’t make her proud rather it added to her beauty. A real women- as she was, she handed over her business matters to her husband and felt satisfied with the role of a simple and devoted housewife.

Though she was elder in age, yet she assisted him so well that his heart was soon hers.

She would love serving him herself, fulfilling all his needs, ensuring his satisfaction, happiness and comfort. All this was not expected from a women of such high status, but she proved herself to be an ideal wife.

Time was flying smoothly when she would sense some disturbance. Khadija’s love, the center of her life, her beloved husband– didn’t seem peaceful, his eyes would search something that he didn’t know. He was still the best to his wife and family, but he had a spiritual thirst to be quenched. She would recognize all his questions but didn’t have any answer to them. She could also feel the same void in her heart, but his pain was more than hers. He had started loosing interest in worldly matters now and Khadija, once again had to handle the business. She could read her husband’s heart beats so well that she did not need to ask him any whys, whats and hows! All that concerned her, was Muhammad’s (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) life, his protection and peace of heart.

She would guard him outside Cave Hira when he would go there out of frustration, when he needed to be alone with his Lord. She would also look after the business, the children at home and all domestic matters while Muhammad (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) would watch the House of ALLAH from the mount wondering about the “Missing Element”. She dared not to utter a single sigh on the problems she was facing because of “The Change” her husband was going through.

She was standing beside him as a firm wall, when one night he came running towards her from Hira, trembling was his tone and all he would say was “Cover me up”. She didn’t question anything before comforting him, he had something strange to tell her. It would have shocked her that her Love was near death a while ago, but all she had to do was to support him. She showed full trust in ALLAH and relaxed him by saying that ALLAH would not leave him because he had a noble character.

Understanding the scenario as a matter related to heavens, she took him to her cousin who knew the earlier heavenly scriptures.

Everything was soon clear to the worried couple. But never did they imagine of facing extreme hardships out of their empathy for the people.The sun in the form of Islam had risen to conquer the darkness, and Muhammad was chosen as the Final Messenger of ALLAH, may Peace and Blessings of ALLAH be upon him.

His thirst was quenched and he was shown the right path now.


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And He found you lost and guided [you] [93:7]

But every blessing comes with trials, so did this honor. Khadija trusted the words of her husband, accepted his Message and became the first Muslimah. She had the insight of the importance of her husband’s mission and it kept her firm on her support for Muhammad (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) The couple had to go through a list of trials only because they were delivering the True Message. She had always been the best emotional counselor for him (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) but now the need of her counseling had increased. He would come home with a heavy heart after listening to the allegations of his own people, who once used to call him As-Saadiq and Al-Ameen, and Khadija would remove all the pains and sufferings.

Situation was getting worse each day but it only added strength to the Imaan of Muhammad (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) and his followers. Khadija spent all her wealth for the cause of Islam and proved her sincerity to her husband. Her Imaan was strong enough to bear the pain of divorce for two of her daughters and the torture from the whole city. She never complained to Muhammad (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam), neither did she expressed any discomfort, she was still serving her husband as before. Her service to Islam and the Prophet (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) of Islam won her the tidings of Jannah in this world and ALLAH sent her “Salaam” from the seventh heaven. She helped the Prophet (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) all her life and her belief was strengthened by time but the whirlpools of Shaiba-e- Abi Talib worsen her health, and she died at the end of the 3 years’ boycott.

Such was the character of the beloved wife of the last Prophet (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam), Khadija (Radhi Allaahu ‘Anha).

May her soul rest in Peace. Aameen.

Let’s Face it!

By Bint Salman

wordleWe have a lot of material available in the form of books and articles on Islamic aspects of parenting. As we hear people concluding that the Islamic parenting entails that you work on your kids mainly by providing them Islamic education, however little do we realize what the exact meaning the term : ‘Islamic education’ has. Many parents create a great hype about it, they admit their kid in the most expensive of Islamic institutes or the kid is found enrolled in Tahfeez, Tafsir, Fiqh , Seerah and Aqeedah courses which is a good thing and not my point of objection here. However I simply intend to expose the loopholes in the Islamic education that we aim to provide our children. Unfortunately  we don’t bother to ascertain whether our kid is correctly applying what he is learning, and even worse than this negligence is our own weaknesses that we fail to be those shining role-models for them. When we find our kids wining trophies or getting certificates in Qirah or other Islamic events we boast about their performances, assuming them to be too righteous to ever hold them accountable for their misdeeds.

I got to know about an incident which took place in the recent past. There was a boy who was a Haafiz and was considered to have accomplished much in deen. Despite all that, he would bully little kids and curse a lot behind his parent’s back. One day he got into a fight with a little boy and dashed to catch him. The boy ran speedily falling over his face and ended up having his teeth broken and bleed profusely. When the whole account was narrated to the elder guy’s parents they got too defensive and refused to believe that their son could do any such thing. Unfortunately such attitude from parent’s side makes the kids more courageous and daring causing them to persist in their bad habits till it becomes a second part of their nature.

The essential and integral part of education system is the practical demonstration of theories, facts and examples which reinforces the learning process. Little attention is paid on practical applications of the teachings of Islam. Would not the kids get a much distorted picture of the whole concept when on one hand they are made to learn about the spirit of sacrifice, brotherhood, mutual respect and love while on the other hand they see a totally opposite picture presented to them by their parents and elders? Don’t you think in this way we are transmitting this disease of hypocrisy in them?

Tarbiyah actually means to impart the Ilm in such a way that it motivates the child to act in accordance to what he is taught. Otherwise most of the kids are intelligent and capable enough to get a whole lot of certificates, excellent scores and recognition as young Aalims, but that is not really the purpose!

A few important things parents must practice while embarking upon the journey of Islamic parenting:

– Don’t merely tell your kids to practice Husn-e-Zun, middle path ,compassion and sacrifice when you constantly talk negative about your in-laws, indulge in back-biting, shop lavishly, treat your servants /lower class coldly, are not willing to make sacrifices for others.

-Teach your kids to respect and love their siblings, make sacrifices and uphold compromises. Encourage them to spend the things which they love the most in the way of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’ala). Motivate them to choose/desire for others what they love for themselves.

-Take things to the next level, instead of just emotionally narrating to them the Tafsir and Hadith, train them on how to bring the teachings of Islam to life!

– Constantly remind them of their actual goal in this life, which is to worship Allah, till it gets infused in their conscious and sub-conscious and they learn exactly how to keep away from things which lie in contradiction to that goal.

– Instill in them the love, greatness knowledge and fear of Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala).

– Train them on how to resist and despise the unIslamic trends, culture and evil practices prevalent in our society which are truly disgusting from the inside but nicely wrapped to deceive us, the tricks of shaitan, the modern age delusions such as fashion, movies, sex culture ( in modest/appropriate way).

– Show and teach them courtesy, respect and Islamic moral values and warn them against pride and arrogance.

– Constantly make Du’aa for your kids:

“…Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of those who have Taqwa.” (Furqan: 74)

On the final note: Let’s us try to be the people of actions and not just words. May Allah protect us and our generations to come. Aameen.

Out of Love!

By Umm ‘Aisha

I see them screaming at their old parents out of their love for them! I see them scolding their children out of their love for them! I see them blaming and pointing their sarcasm at their spouses out of their love for them! I see them arguing with everyone out of their love for Deen! I see their brutality for their students out of their love for knowledge! I see them fighting and punching their siblings faces out of their love for them! And I see them dissociating from their friends out of their love for them! I see broken families that were built only in the name of love, and I see psychologically disturbed children who are the ‘victim’ of their parents’ love!

And all this forces me to think “If they really LOVE them? Is this what love is all about? Is love only the matter of one’s heart and not one’s attitude? Is love only providing the basic necessities of life to your beloved? Is love so cruel? Is love something that abuses relations? Or is it just that THEY ARE ABUSING LOVE?

I would have started doubting myself whether I should claim this grievous sin of loving someone and then proving it through my actions if I had not known The Most Loving! The One who loves all that we see around us, the One who calls all His creations “His family”. Though nothing could be as Mighty as Him and nothing could be as Supreme as Him. Though He does not need to be loved, though He is not dependent on any one of His creatures, though He is not in need of their time, money, presence, children, wealth or anything!

But He still loves them and expects that they respect and love each other.

He- The Most Loving doesn’t even ignore those who disobey His merciful commandments, neither those who declare themselves as His enemy. He-Ar-Rahman- blesses them with all the luxuries of this world.

And here we-those who are selected by ALLAH as HIS Deen’s messengers, the messengers of His love for people the carriers of “There is no God but ALLAH” have a different definition and practical implementation of Love!

The feeling created by God, for God, to God!

When I talk about love as a gift from the Loving, I imagine it something that is totally different of what world has described it through its actions. It is something that is filled with ‘your’ respect, ‘your’ honor, sacrifice for ‘you’, peace between ‘us’, happiness among ‘everyone’, harmony in ‘people’, tolerance for ‘you’. Something that is free from selfishness and the concept of ‘my’ rights, ‘my’ position, ‘my’ value, ‘my’ worth. Something that doesn’t loose its value even when surrounded by the worst feelings of lust, jealousy, hatred and fear. Something that stays pure even if the world around is filthy. Something that unites people, and something that consoles broken hearts. And eventually it has to be something that makes this world a better place to live!

So when I tell you that “I LOVE YOU”, it means I- a slave of Most Beneficent- am ready to sacrifice for you, I- a slave of As-Salam- wish for peace in your life, I- a slave of Al-Wadood- am ready to give you unconditional love, I- a slave of As- Samii’- am there to listen you, I- a slave of AL-Hadi- want to guide your ways whenever you are lost and most of all I– a slave of Al-Moez, respect you for what you are.

This definition of Love can only be possible if the rules of Divine are truly loved, followed and implemented in ‘My’ life! 🙂