By Umm ‘Aisha
She was a wealthy business woman, noblest in the area, strongest in her character but softest from her heart. She had experienced a lot of difficulties in her 40 years of life including the death of her noble father and facing widow-ship twice. She had grown old by now, but a gem like her would need protection. She was destined for the best of all men and was now the wife of Al-Ameen.
She knew that she was honored to be his wife, but it didn’t make her proud rather it added to her beauty. A real women- as she was, she handed over her business matters to her husband and felt satisfied with the role of a simple and devoted housewife.
Though she was elder in age, yet she assisted him so well that his heart was soon hers.
She would love serving him herself, fulfilling all his needs, ensuring his satisfaction, happiness and comfort. All this was not expected from a women of such high status, but she proved herself to be an ideal wife.
Time was flying smoothly when she would sense some disturbance. Khadija’s love, the center of her life, her beloved husband– didn’t seem peaceful, his eyes would search something that he didn’t know. He was still the best to his wife and family, but he had a spiritual thirst to be quenched. She would recognize all his questions but didn’t have any answer to them. She could also feel the same void in her heart, but his pain was more than hers. He had started loosing interest in worldly matters now and Khadija, once again had to handle the business. She could read her husband’s heart beats so well that she did not need to ask him any whys, whats and hows! All that concerned her, was Muhammad’s (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) life, his protection and peace of heart.
She would guard him outside Cave Hira when he would go there out of frustration, when he needed to be alone with his Lord. She would also look after the business, the children at home and all domestic matters while Muhammad (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) would watch the House of ALLAH from the mount wondering about the “Missing Element”. She dared not to utter a single sigh on the problems she was facing because of “The Change” her husband was going through.
She was standing beside him as a firm wall, when one night he came running towards her from Hira, trembling was his tone and all he would say was “Cover me up”. She didn’t question anything before comforting him, he had something strange to tell her. It would have shocked her that her Love was near death a while ago, but all she had to do was to support him. She showed full trust in ALLAH and relaxed him by saying that ALLAH would not leave him because he had a noble character.
Understanding the scenario as a matter related to heavens, she took him to her cousin who knew the earlier heavenly scriptures.
Everything was soon clear to the worried couple. But never did they imagine of facing extreme hardships out of their empathy for the people.The sun in the form of Islam had risen to conquer the darkness, and Muhammad was chosen as the Final Messenger of ALLAH, may Peace and Blessings of ALLAH be upon him.
His thirst was quenched and he was shown the right path now.
And He found you lost and guided [you] [93:7]
But every blessing comes with trials, so did this honor. Khadija trusted the words of her husband, accepted his Message and became the first Muslimah. She had the insight of the importance of her husband’s mission and it kept her firm on her support for Muhammad (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) The couple had to go through a list of trials only because they were delivering the True Message. She had always been the best emotional counselor for him (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) but now the need of her counseling had increased. He would come home with a heavy heart after listening to the allegations of his own people, who once used to call him As-Saadiq and Al-Ameen, and Khadija would remove all the pains and sufferings.
Situation was getting worse each day but it only added strength to the Imaan of Muhammad (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) and his followers. Khadija spent all her wealth for the cause of Islam and proved her sincerity to her husband. Her Imaan was strong enough to bear the pain of divorce for two of her daughters and the torture from the whole city. She never complained to Muhammad (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam), neither did she expressed any discomfort, she was still serving her husband as before. Her service to Islam and the Prophet (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) of Islam won her the tidings of Jannah in this world and ALLAH sent her “Salaam” from the seventh heaven. She helped the Prophet (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) all her life and her belief was strengthened by time but the whirlpools of Shaiba-e- Abi Talib worsen her health, and she died at the end of the 3 years’ boycott.
Such was the character of the beloved wife of the last Prophet (Sal Allaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam), Khadija (Radhi Allaahu ‘Anha).
May her soul rest in Peace. Aameen.
Listen up! all of you out there. Whatever be the nature of your distress don’t despair the mercy of Allaah, indeed His help is near. Allaah never intends to break you down, He wants to strengthen you, teach you things you would have never learnt if things had continued to run smooth ,refine your faith and do what is BEST for you in His own subtle ways. So rest assured, the matters of your life are in safe hands. Calm down, clear your head off from nasty thoughts , read this and rethink!
Oh Allaah why does it have to be like that?:
The moment Allaah issues His decree on us and we pass through events of catastrophic nature,many of us become hopeless and even faithless.Our spontaneous reaction on being tested or afflicted by a calamity usually is,we start questioning Allah, ”Oh Allah WHY? why did it happen to me? of all why only me?. This is usually phase one,followed by more phases. Let’s go through these phases and learn a few things, insha’Allaah.
In the initial phase, right at the onset of distress, Shaitaan comes with all the bad stuff and ideas,constantly whispering them to us and mainly through Shubhaat that is doubts continues to lead us in despair . Since we are in a weak position so like a perfect enemy Shaitaan makes his move and throws his arrows and spears . Therefore it’s here where we need real strength and Emaan to retaliate.
Allah says in Surah Baqarah – Ayah 155 and 156 that He tests His servants with fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits and in the next verse He mentions the quality of His believing slaves by giving them the title ‘As sabireen’ (the patient). These are the ones who in their phase one, right after being afflicted say; “Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.”. Just ponder over the Emaan of these people,despite being distressed they immediately realize that Allah has given them everything and He has the power to take those bounties whenever He wishes.Therefore they show their contentment with Allah’s decree. This is ar rida anillah azzawajal it means to be pleased with Allah, to believe strongly that His wisdom is infinite and He does what is best for us and we’re not to question Him as He says in Surah Ambiyaah – Ayah 23: ”He cannot be questioned as to what He does, while they will be questioned”
Prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said: “The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allaah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2396; Ibn Maajah, 4031; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Therefore whenever any unpleasant thing happens to us we must patiently endure and utter innalillahi wa innailaihi rajioon and console ourselves by relying on Allah’s wisdom and the good that results from it.We should also make Du’aa to Allah to reward us in our patience and compensate the loss with something better; ”Allahuma jurni fee museebati wakhlufli khairam minha”. O Allah compensate me for my loss and give me what is better than it.
Under such situations there are people who suffer a marked decrease in their Emaan levels, they get so caught up in their grief that they miss their Salah,they turn lazy towards Deen and remembrance of Allaah. While Allaah says in Ayah 45 in Surah Baqarah: ”seek help in patience and prayer”. That is why our prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) would pray because it provides comfort and helps during mishaps and adversities. Salah establishes a direct link with Allaah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’alaa) , it’s when u can talk to him, you can weep to Him as He’s always there for His slaves.
Hudhayfah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said “Whenever the matter became serious the Prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) would pray. (Collected by Abu Dawud (1319) and others. Graded as being Hasan by Shaykh Al-Albani).
Exercise self-control by avoiding violence and self-induced hysteria:
Patience also entails that one remain as calm as possible on being struck by misfortune and doesn’t inflict harm upon himself or others or the surrounding objects,which is the patience by body. Some people when misfortune hits them start shouting and tearing their clothes and get hysterical but later over a period of time they calm down. This is not patience in any way.
Once prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) was passing by a grave when he saw a woman who was doing what she should not be doing on death of her husband. So He (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) told her ittaqillah wasbiri; ‘be conscious of Allah and be patient’. To this she said ;”turn away from my face for you haven’t been afflicted with a calamity that I have been,so he just walked away. Later when she came to know that it was the prophet of Allah (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) ,she went to his house and told him that she didn’t know it was him. The prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) told her “Verily! patience is at first stroke of calamity.”
For how long will things be like that?
In yet another phase,when the period of affliction prolongs to months or years,we give up hope and stop our supplications all together. This is usually when Allaah’s help is just around the corner.
Let us strengthen our Emaan by taking guidance from the beautiful story of Yusuf (‘Alaihi Salaam) .It was revealed in Aamul-Huzn (the year of sadness) for the emotional and moral support of the prophet Mohammad( sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam).So one can ponder over the verses of Surah Yusuf to get motivation and immense comfort, insha’ Allah. Yusuf (‘Alaihi Salaam) was a victim of maltreatment and abuse but it was His patience, perseverance and faith in Allah that led him from the darkness of well and gloom of the prison to a lofty status in Egypt. It was not merely a month but more than seven years of patience and endurance that yielded sweet rewards and the same brothers who plotted against him, went down into prostration before him, as a token of respect. Take lessons from Zakariyah (‘Alaihi Salaam) who turned old and his wife became barren yet he invoked hopefully by saying “… and never have I been in my supplication to You, my Lord, unhappy [i.e., disappointed].” [Surah Maryam – Ayah 3]
In the hereafter the patient ones will be taken to paradise without any reckoning while others will be terrified about their hisaab as Allah says in Surah Zumar – Ayah 10:
Say: “…Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning.”
The term used here is Beghairi Hisaab, some interpreters say Bighairi Hisaab means: the amount of deeds you’ve done in this life wouldn’t deserve the status that you will be in paradise .
In Surah Baqarah – Ayah 157 Allaah assures the Saabireen of His blessings,forgiveness,mercy and guidance.
Those who are patient are rewarded with ‘Maiyatullaah that is ‘the company of Allaah’ and ‘HubbAllaah-love of Allaah’ as Allaah says in Surah Baqarah and Surah Aal ‘Imraan:
”innallaaha ma’as saabireen – indeed Allaah is with those who’re patient.” (2:156)
” innallaaha yuhibbus saabireen – ‘verily Allaah loves those who’re patient.” (3:146)
Stop nagging people and complain to Allaah alone:
Many a times we keep complaining about our misfortunes to the people,rather in more accurate terms to the Created beings who would show indifference, no signs of mercy ,when we should be approaching our Creator who has an infinite amount of Mercy for us. Therefore,when it comes to patience it applies to tongue also.One can be patient by his tongue by not complaining to other than Allaah and this is the meaning of Subrun Jameel, the beautiful patience. The prophet (sal Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said when he was asked; “its patience by which you don’t complain” and of course the meaning here is we should complain to only Allah and not His Created beings as we see Yaqoob as in Surah Yusuf – Ayah 86. said: “I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allaah”.
Just hold on to hope in Allaah and don’t despair:
If you’re being tested,so were the prophets,the righteous people of the past but they clung to their faith more strongly.Allaah says:
” Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested. . And We indeed tested those who were before them. “ (Surah Ankaboot – Ayah 2 and 3)”
No matter how your distress aggravates,just carry on,for it’s only disbelievers who lose hope in Allah’s Mercy.
”Certainly no one despairs of Allaah’s mercy, except the people who disbelieve.’‘ (Surah Yusuf – Ayah 87)
For how many years did Ibrahim (‘Alaihi Salaam) hold his hope in Allaah when he prayed for a son ? Zakariya (‘Alaihi Salaam). too had to wait for a long time but they did not give up hopes in Allaah. So ask yourselves this question: ‘should I give up so easily?’
By Umm ‘Aisha
I am sensitive! This is what I thought of myself before learning Quran. Whenever someone hurt me, smirked at me, whenever they ignored me, my love, my sacrifices, whenever they mocked, ridiculed and flattered me! I was sensitive enough to waste my days and nights thinking, crying and cursing myself, blaming others that they don’t value my intense feelings for them!
I thought it was the soft heart from ALLAH, which makes me this touchy. Though it hindered my functionality but it also drew me closer to Al-Wadud! And after a long painful journey He made me read His words, and learn the realities of life through His love. And I learnt the ultimate reality behind relations, that it was never “You, They and Them” that hurt me; it was “Me, I and Myself” that hurt me! It was not their attitude that broke my heart; it was my weakness that it broke! It was not their fault that they cheated me; it was my fault that I trusted them more than trusting ALLAH! It was not their harshness that caused me insomnia, but my inability to take them as humans, who are nothing but to err!
And I still believe that “I am Sensitive”.
I am sensitive for the feelings of my people! I am sensitive for the pains they bear! I am sensitive to what wrong people are doing with their lives! I am sensitive if people are committing sins and ending into Hell fire forever or if they are earning the pleasure of their Lord! I am sensitive if my words and actions hurt them or make them smile!
And I don’t experience any insomnias, depressions and broken hearts now! I only enjoy my tears that may wipe away my misdeeds and help me become a better human, a better Muslim and a real help for all other sensitive people out there!